Stoplight Jokes / Recent Jokes

A kindergarten teacher was giving her students a homework assignment. She said, "Students, I know you can do this. If you are going anywhere tonight, then watch how your parents drive in relation to the stoplight. This means, watch how they drive and what they say when the stoplight turns green, when it turns red, and when it turns yellow."
So the following day, all the little kids came back with smiles on their faces because they knew that they had done their homework.
The teacher asks, "So did everyone do their homework last night?" Every kid says in unison, "Yes!"
The teacher continues. "So can anyone tell me what you do when the light turns green?" She looks past the outstretched hand of Little Johnny to pick Little Billy. Billy said, "You say, 'yes, this stupid light finally turned green!', and then stay at the same speed."
"Very good, Billy," the teacher said. Little Johnny was mad; he wanted to answer a more...

Q: What did the first stoplight say to the second stoplight? A: Dont look Im changing!!

One day, two guys decide to take a drive to a local grocery store to get some lunch. On the way to the store they ran into an intersection with a stoplight. The light showed red. The man driving went right through the red light. The passenger looked at the driver and screamed, "What the heck are you doing? You're going to get us killed!" Then the driver responded, "Don't worry, my mother allways drives like this."
So later on, the two guys came to another stoplight and that too was red. The driver sped right through the light. Again the passenger looked at the driver and said, "I thought I told you, you're gonna get us killed! Would you please stop this nonsense!" The driver looked at the passenger and responded, "All right! I get it but I told you My mother drives like this all the time!" Again, the two guys ran into another light. This time in was green. The Driver slammed on his breaks and stopped the car totally. "What the hell are more...

1.Keep your lights blinking for a whole hour.
2.Go really slow on a highway.
3.Smile and wave at everyone that you see at a stoplight.
4.Turn your radio up while playing opera music.
5.When stopping at a stop sign run out of your car and look to see if any cars are coming then yell, "It's all clear!"
6.When coming to a speed bump, get out and say "My car won't make it!" then try to push it over the bump.
7.At every stoplight, run out and check your tires and yell, "Don't worry it's OK!"
8.Take a sponge and a bucket of water and pull over to wash the bugs off the car every time you see one.
9.Fill the back seats with plastic bags, put the windows down, and drive around really fast.
10.Change your licence plate every you stop and yell, "They're after me! Anybody got a screwdriver?"

One day, two guys were driving to a local grocery store to get some food. On the way to the store they ran into an intersection with a stoplight. The light showed red. The man driving went right through the red light. The passenger looked at the driver and screamed, "What the heck are you doing? You're going to get us killed!" Then the driver responded, "Don't worry, my mother allways drives like this." So later on, the two guys came to another stoplight and that too was red. The driver sped right through the light. Again the passenger looked at the driver and said, "I thought I told you, you're gonna get us killed! Would you please stop this nonsense!" The driver looked at the passenger and responded, "I get it! But like I told already, you my mother drives like this all the time!" Again, the two guys ran into another light. This time in was green. The driver slammed on his brakes and stopped the car completely. "What the hell are you more...