Storage Jokes / Recent Jokes

Picard "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?"Geordi "Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology."Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.Riker looks puzzled. "What in the world is 'Microsoft'?"Data turns to answer. "Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some reason called 'Windows', through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate."Picard "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?"Data "Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it creates a new version of itself known as an 'upgrade'. The use of resources increases exponentially more...

"Star Trek Lost Episodes" transcript.

Picard "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?"

Geordi "Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology."

Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.

Riker looks puzzled. "What in the world is `Microsoft`?"

Data turns to answer. "Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some reason called `Windows`, through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate."

Picard "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won`t they alter their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?"

Data "Yes, Captain. But more...

An air freight flight flying across the Pacific to Australia was also carrying five passengers; an American, A Frenchman, a German, an Englishman, and an Irishman. They'd almost reached their destination near Australia, when one of the plane's four engines caught on fire. "Don't worry!" said the pilot, as he activated the fire extinguishers and feathered the prop, "this plane was designed to fly on just two engines. We'll be fine!"

A little while later, an engine on the other wing coughed and sputtered and stopped. The plane appeared to be slowly losing altitude when the pilot came on the intercom and said: "don't worry men, this plane can still fly on two engines, but we're going to have to lighten the load."

The copilot came back into the cabin and opened a rear door. He then directed the five men in helping to jettison the crates that the plane was carrying. Once all the crates were out, he secured the door and went back to the more...

For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers.The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker.A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has more...

You have reached the Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and target or list of targets, and we'll launch as soon as we can. And have a nice day.