Stores Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why are blondes like 7-Eleven stores? Open 24 hours a day.

Colorado
• Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.
• Colorado law requires that wine be sold in containers of at least 24 ounces and spirits in containers at least a fifth of a gallon. But, at the same time, it also decrees that no alcohol beverage can be stored in hotel minibars in anything larger than miniature containers.
• Colorado Springs: It is permissible to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays.
• Crippe Creek: It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.
• Denver: The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park; It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor; It is illegal to mistreat rats; You may not drive a black car on Sundays.
• Durango: It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes more...

NEW YORK, Oct. 7 (JTA) - In the beginning there was an idea and it was good: Jewish beer, named "He'Brew - The Chosen Beer.''
The beginning, for beer developer Jeremy Cowan, was last Chanukah, and it was so good that he sold every bottle of his 100 cases almost as soon as they hit the shelves of the liquor stores, kosher delis and restaurants that carried it in the San Francisco area.
Today Cowan, 28, has contracted with a leading micro-brewery and professional beer distributors in the San Francisco area, and is selling as many cases of the unconventional beer - 500 - in a week as he did during the past nine months.
The beer, whose theme is "exile never tasted so good," is available in stores throughout California and in other places by toll-free mail order through The Wine Club.
The centerpiece of the beer's brightly colored label is a picture of a Chasidic-looking rabbi looming over a landscape that puts the Golden Gate Bridge right next to a Jerusalem more...

Fireworks stores may not sell fireworks to Pennsylvania residents. Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk. You may not catch a fish with your hands. You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth. Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish. Though you do not need a fishing license to fish on your own land, but a hunting license is required to hunt on your own land. It is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel. However up to • 120 men can live together, without breaking the law.The state law of Pennsylvania prohibits singing in the bathtub.A special cleaning ordinance bans homemakers from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, cannon, revolver or other explosive weapon at a wedding. Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop more...

THE COMMON FART
The Common Fart is the fart heard most often. It is a very close relative of the "Ripper", but is released with less force. It is usually heard in groups where people aren't yet comfortable with farting amongst each other. Therefore, one person in the group gets up some nerve and releases this common-sounding fart in such a manner that everyone now feels comfortable with group flatulence.. Usually there is no smell with the Common Fart.
THE ANXIOUS FART
The Anxious Fart is let in a place where someone does not want the fart to be heard.
You may have seen men and women in book stores or grocery stores, or even on the street, letting these farts.
They are generally controlled, usually barely audible, and require much skill to master.
THE COUGHING FART
The Coughing Fart is one that the farter tries to cover up with a cough. My dad used to let these farts all the time when he worked at the Bingo Hall. He would stand at the back of the more...

Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses. It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence. No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days. (Repealed) It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3.2% alcohol. Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday. It is permissable to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays. It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building. You may not drive a black car on Sundays. It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor. It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver, Colorado. The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park. It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming" on one's sex. It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman more...

Rule #1
When in doubt - buy him a Star Wars book. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 copies of "The Wookie Cookies Cookbook" and he has yet to complain. As a geek, you can never have too many Star Wars books. No one knows why.
Rule #2
If you cannot afford a Star Wars book, buy him anything with an acronym in it. Geeks love saying those acronyms. "Hey, George! Can I borrow your PS2 to USB adapter?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my PC2100 DDR RAM tester yet?" Again, no one knows
why.
Rule #3
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his game system. A crappy third-party DDR pad, a whacky looking joystick, or any game from the bargain bin. Geeks love gifts for their gamesystems. No one knows why.
Rule #4
Do not buy geeks cologne. Do not buy geeks ties. And never buy geeks designer shoes. I was told that if God had wanted geeks to wear decent clothes, he wouldn't have more...