Story Jokes / Recent Jokes

> Lesson number one
> ----------------
> A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small
> rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
> nothing all day long?"
>
> The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below
> the crow, and rested.
> All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
>
> Moral of the story is:
> To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very
> high up.
>
> Lesson number two
> ----------------
> A turkey was chatting with a bull.
> "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed
> the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
> "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
> bull. They're packed with nutrients."
> The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually more...

This guy went into the bar Friday night and ordered three beers, in fact every Friday night he went into the bar and ordered three beers and drank them all by himself. Three beers... every Friday night. Not 2. Never 4. Always 3. Well, the bartender couldn't figure this out. Without fail this guy came in. The bartender finally said to the guy, "Every Friday night you come in here and have three beers. There must be a story to this. You never order 2 beers, or 4 beers, always 3." The guy said, "Yes there is a story. You see, me and my two buddies always went out for a beer on Friday night when we were in Vietnam. One night while we were drinking we decided that we could continue doing this when we returned to the States. We also decided if one of us didn't make it the other two would drink the third one's beer. And if two didn't make it, the third guy would drink the other two beers. The other two didn't make it back so I'm drinking theirs." The bartender felt bad. more...

A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says,"Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce." "Because," the man says, "I live in a two-story house." The Judge replies, "What kind of a reason is that! What's the big deal about a two-story house?" The man answers, "Well Judge, one story is...**I have a headache** and the other story is **It's that time of the month!** "

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Brezhnev, a former ruler of Russia, was thought not to be too bright. He comes to address a big Communist party meeting, and starts:"Dear Comrade Imperialists,"The whole hall perked up - "what did he say??" Brezhnev tried again..."Dear Comrade Imperialists,"Well, by now the hall was in pandemonium - was he trying to call them Imperialists? Then, an advisor walked over to the podium and pointed to the speech for Brezhnev. "Oh..." he muttered, and started again:"Dear Comrades, Imperialists are everywhere."

What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse? A tale of whoa!

Q: What's the difference between a fairy tale and a redneck story?
A: A fairy tale begins "once upon a time," while a redneck story begins "you guys ain't gonna believe this, but..."

What's the difference between women at ages of 8, 18, 28, 38 and 48? ??
8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story
18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed
28 - You don't need to tell her any story to take her to bed...
38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed
48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed