Strange Jokes / Recent Jokes

A mother complained to her doctor about her daughters strange eating habits.
"All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?"
Eventually" said the Doctor, "she will rise and shine!"

" The first one is free" "Download a free trial version". Have important South-Asia connections (to help move the stuff) Have important South-Asia connections (to help debug the code). Strange jargon: " Stick", " Rock", " Dime bag", " E" Strange jargon: " TCP/IP", " XML", " Java", " SQL". Realize that there's a ton of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market Realize that there's a ton of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market. Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, more potent mixes Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, faster machines. Often seen in the company of pimps and hustlers Often seen in the company of marketing people and venture capitalists Their products cause unhealthy addictions. DOOM. Quake. SimCity. Duke Nukem 3D.; Enough said. Do your job well and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you Damn! Damn! DAMN!

Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!

Pappu: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.

We have a strange and wonderful relationship: He's strange and I'm wonderful.

An old italian man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most. "When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs, and strange sounds at all hours. He was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished. He died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, the wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions: "Are you not worried? Concerned? Afraid of this man who practiced black magic and stated when he died he would dig his way up and out of the grave to more...

- Don't assume the telephone calls are coming from another house.
- When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.
- Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
- Don't go into the basement to check the power when the lights go out!
- If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.
- When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER split up and go it alone.
- Don't have sex. Especially if you've noticed a few of your friends are missing!
- As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open a portal to Hell.
- Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.
- If you're searching for more...

Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
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What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil: A teacher.
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Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
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Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Kirk: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
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Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Johnny: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime."
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TEACHER: Ellen, give me a more...