Stressed Jokes / Recent Jokes
I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker asked me what I was doing? I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb.
He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days". I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker followed me, the Boss asked him...
"... And where do you think you're going?"
" I AM GOING HOME TOO, CANT WORK WITHOUT LIGHTS"
You Know You're Too Stressed If...
You can achieve a "Runner's High" by sitting up.
The Sun is too loud.
Trees begin to chase you.
You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I. V. drip solution of espresso.
You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee.
You can hear mimes.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.
Things become "Very Clear."
You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
You begin speaking in a language that only you and Chanelers can understand.
The less sense matter and matter is more than sense.
You and Reality file for more...
You know you're stressed out when you can hear mimes.
New Corporate Buzz Words for the 90`s
Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn`t work out obsessively.
Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, and then leaves.
Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.
Idea Hamsters: People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
Mouse Potato: The online, wired generation`s answer to the couch potato.
Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people`s heads pop up over the walls to see what`s going on.
SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for more...