Stripes Jokes

Leroy and Jasper have been promoted from privates to sergeants. Not long after, they're out for a walk and Leroy says, "Hey, Jasper, there's the Officer's Club. Let's you and me stop in."

"But we're privates," protests Jasper.

"We're sergeants now," says Leroy, pulling him inside. "Now, Jasper, I'm gonna sit down and have me a drink."

"But we're privates," says Jasper.

"You blind?" asks Leroy, pointing at his stripes. "We're sergeants now."

So they have their drink, and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Leroy. "Your cute," she says, "and I'd like to screw you, but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea."

Leroy pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Jasper, go look in the dictionary and see what' gonorrhea' means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign." So Jasper goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Leroy the big okay more...

SCORPIO
Scorpio condoms outsell all others. That's probably because people try to impress each other with their sexual prowess by pretending that they're a Scorpio. The truth is that no right thinking Scorpio would get caught dead wearing a condom. But then death doesn't scare a Scorpio. And a Scorpio doesn't get caught.
Scorpio condoms come in two editions, basic black and the stealthy invisible model. Both leather and studs are optional. Also, because propriety concerns Scorpio, each package of Scorpio condoms comes with a pre-printed, pre-coital agreement. Symbolized by the venomous Scorpion, when you really want to sting your lover, you want a Scorpio condom.
SAGITTARIAN
Sagittarians are known for their worldly pursuits, gamesmanship, cosmopolitan attitude and knack for doing things in a big way. Sagittarian condoms are the sportier models. They come equipped with travel cases.
Sagittarian condoms are the ones that go with you and grow with you. They promise a more...

Two good old boys, Bubba and Junior have been promoted from Privates to Sergeants. Not long after, they're out for a walk and Bubba says,
"Hey, Junior, there's the NCO Club. Let's you and me stop in and have a drink."
"But we's privates," protests Junior.
"We's sergeants now," says Bubba, pulling him inside.
"Now, Junior, I'm gonna sit down and have me a drink."
"But, we's privates," says Junior.
"You blind, boy?" asks Bubba, pointing at his stripes. "We's Sergeants now."
So they order their drinks and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Bubba.
"You're cute," she says, "and I'd like to take you someplace and make you feel good - but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea."
Bubba pulls his friend to the side and whispers,
"Junior, go look in the dictionary and see what gonorrhea means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign."
Junior goes to look it up, more...

Animal Quiz
One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She
holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone
knows what it is. No one raises their hand.
The teacher says "
See its long neck? What animal has a
long neck?"
Sally holds up her hand and asks, "
Is it a
giraffe?"
"
Very good Sally,"
the teacher replies.
Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the
students holds up their hands. "
See the stripes on this
animal? What animal has stripes?"
Billy holds up his
hand and says, "
It's a zebra."
"
Very good Billy,"
the
teacher replies.
Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the
students recognized the animal. "
See the big antlers on
this animal. What animal has horns like this?"
Still no
one guesses.
"
Let me give you another hint, it's something more...

Two good ol' boys, Bubba and Junior get promoted from Privates to Sergeants. Not long after, they're out for a walk and Bubba says, "Hey, Junior - there's the NCO Club. Let's you and me stop in and have us a drank." "But we's privates," protests Junior." NO, we's sergeants now," says Bubba, pulling him inside"Now, Junior, I'm gonna sit down and have me a drank." "But, we's privates," says Junior." You blind, boy!" says Bubba, pointing at his stripes. "We's Sergeants now!"So they order their drinks and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Bubba." You're cute," she says, "and I'd like to take you someplace and make you feel good -- but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea." Bubba pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Junior, go look in the dictionary and see what that gonorrhea means. If it's good, give me the okay sign." Junior goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Bubba the big okay more...