Strolling Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man is strolling past a lunatic asylum when he hears a loud chanting. "thirteen thirteen thirteen!" goes the noise from the mental hospital wards. The mans curiosity gets the better of him, and he searches for a hole in the security fence. Its not long before he finds a small crack, so he leans forward and peers in. Instantly, someone jabs him in the eye. As he reels back in agony, the chanting continues "fourteen fourteen fourteen!"

A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.
Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.
Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?"
The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is vertical.
With a compass, the patient locates north, and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick.
Withdrawing a slide ruler from his pocket, the patient calculates stuff rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian saying, "It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is."
The man more...