Student Jokes / Recent Jokes

Hubby: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office.Why? Wife: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.Hubby: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Wife: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"__________________________________________Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.Girl: Well, that's because we aren't married yet! __________________________________________Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap! __________________________________________Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"Husband to wife: "Golfing more...

One day there was this teacher who was takin role in her class.
Well, three students were missin it was billy sally and joe.
Well, one hour went by and joe walks in naked.
The teacher says: where have you been?
He replies: on top of blueberry hill.
Well she says sit down he does another hour passes and billy walks in naked, and the teacher says: where have you been?
He says: on top of blueberry hill.
She says: sit down.
He does and then another hour passes, and sally walks in naked.
The teacher says: let me guess you have been on top of blueberry hill.
Sally replies: no i am bluberry hill

At a southern university, students in the psychology program were attending their first class on emotional extremes.
"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "what is the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness," said the student.
"And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.
"Elation," she said.
"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "what about the opposite of woe?"
The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be'giddy up' ".

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. Itwas a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenlythere was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?""Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters.""Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days."The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title theassignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an evenlouder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funnyBilly?""Well miss, I just saw both of your garters."Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe,"I don't want to see you for three weeks."Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. Soshe bends over to more...

A student is taking his final exams. He takes his seat in the exam hall, stares at the questions and then in a fit of desperate inspiration, he takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt, pants and socks.
The teacher, alarmed, approached him and asked, "What in the world are you doing?!"
The student answered, "I'm following the instructions. The test paper clearly states that we should answer the questions in brief."

A professor handed out the test papers to all of his students and returned to his desk to wait. When the test was over, the students handed them in.
As the professor was going through the papers, he noticed one student had paper-clipped a $100 bill to his test with an accompanying note saying "A buck a point".
The next day the professor handed the tests back to the respective students.
The student who attached the $100 bill to his, received his test score back along with $64 and a note saying, "here's your change".

Student: Can I use the bathroom?
Teacher: Okay but first say your ABC's.

Students: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ

Teacher: Where's the P?
Student: Its running down my leg!