Stupid Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three business men were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how stupid their wives were. The first says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge big enough to keep it in!"
The second agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out and spent $17 000 on a new car, "he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!"
The third, a blond male, nods sagely and agrees that these two women sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "I have to laugh when I think about it," he chuckles. "Last week my wife left on a vacation to Greece. I watched her packing her bags and she must have taken at least 5
boxes of condoms with her. She doesn't even have a penis!"
What do you call a teletubbie thats just been robbed?
A tubbi cos its telles been nicked
When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend's father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter's chest. He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds
Now, years later, it is my turn to be the dad. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best ot make my daughter's suitors feel even worse.
My motto: wilt them in the living room and they'll stay wilted all night.
"So," I'll call out jovially. "I see you have your nose pierced. Is that because you're STUPID, or did you merely want to APPEAR stupid?"
As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room.
Rule one: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure as more...
A stupid man was struggling out of his house with a big table. His neighbor said to him, Hello, Harry. Where are you going with that then? And Harry replied, I'm taking it to the store to have it measured for a new tablecloth.
Yo mama's so stupid, she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said "concentrate".
Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Grape Nuts was an STD.
Yo mama's so stupid, she saw a billboard that said "Dodge Trucks" and she started ducking through traffic.
Yo mama's so stupid, she uses Old Spice for cooking.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo.
Yo mama's so stupid, the first time she used a vibrator, she cracked her two front teeth.
Yo mama's so stupid, when she took you to the airport and a sign said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought she could get food stamps at the post office.
Yo mama's so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put more...
Editor's Note: We get so many yo momma jokes that I decided to group them. Keep checking back, this is likely to grow
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yo momma is so dumb every month she gave your uncle a blowjob cause he said it was for his unemployment
yo momma is so dumb she flunked a urine test
yo momma is so dumb she got locked in a supermarket and starved to death.
yo momma is so dumb she thought a quarterback was a refund.
yo momma is so dumb she tried to drown a goldfish
yo momma is so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone.
yo momma is so dumb she tripped over the cordles phone"
yo momma is so dumb she was fillin out an application it said name here and she put sagitarius.
yo momma is so dumb that she tried putting M&M's in alphabetical order.
Yo momma's so dumb she got fired from the M&M's factory for throwing out all of the W's
yo momma is so dumb she looked at an more...