Stupid Jokes / Recent Jokes
A father takes his deaf mute son to the Godfather.....
Father: Godfather my boy is a good boy but he can't get a job because he's a deaf mute.
Godfather: I will give him a job as a bag man. He will pick up the money from my bookies and bring it back here. he doesn't have to talk to anybody. Two weeks go by and the Father is grabbed off the street brought to the
Godfathers office. His Son is sitting in a chair all beat up.
Godfather: $50,000.00 is missing, ask your Son where it is. The Father: turns to the boy and in sign language says...."What did you do? Where is the money? they are going to kill you!
Son: (in sign language) I don't know anything about the money
Father: Godfather my Son is a good boy. He says he didn't steal any money
Godfather: Pulls a gun from his drawer and lays it on the desk and says..."ask him again" The Father: (in sign language) This guy is serious, he's going to kill more...
Buckwheat and Darla were in school and the teacher asked Darla, 'How do you spell 'dumb'?"
Darla says, "d-u-m-b, dumb."
The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence."
She responds, "Buckwheat is dumb."
"Now spell 'stupid'."
Darla says, "s-t-u-p-i-d."
The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence."
Darla says, "Buckwheat is stupid."
Then the teacher call on Buckwheat and asks, "Buckwheat, spell dictate."
Buckwheat stands up and says, "d-i-c-t-a-t-e, dictate."
The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in the a sentence."
"I may be dumb and I may be stupid, but Darla says my dictate good!"
Two atoms were walking down the street. One atom says to the other one, "I've lost an electron!
The 2nd atom replies, "Are you sure?"
Says the 1st atom, "I'm positive."
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Editor's note: I find it personally amusing that this joke is simultaneously an Intellectual joke, yet one of the stupidest jokes I've heard...
AT&T fired PresidentJohn Walter after nine months, saying he lacked "intellectual leadership". Hereceived a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lackingintelligence... With a Little Help from Our Friends! Police inOakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricadedhimself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that theman was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up....And What Was Plan B? An Illinois man pretending to havea gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated tellermachines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts... And These Nitwits Are TeachingOur Children?!! A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day suspensionunder his elementary school's drug policy last week - for Certs! Joey Hoefferallegedly told a classmate that the mints would make him "jump more...
You might be a crackhead if:
1. You weigh 100 pounds or less than you did months prior
2. When ever you get paid go drive to a bad neighborhood and ask for a man named craig
3. You itch and shake un controlably
4. If asked what happened to some thing that was important and your reply is “I SMOKED IT”
5. If your lips look like you have eatin several powdered donuts
6. If you saty up at all hours of the night and look out the window suspiciously every 2 seconds.
Questions are asked by lawyers.
Answers are given by witnesses.
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Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
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Q: What gear were you in at the moment of impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you
when he woke up that morning?
A: He said,' Where am I, Cathy?'
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
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Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
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Q: Let me get this straight, Mrs. Clarkson. Despite the
fact that you had hired detectives to watch your
husband's every move, you yourself stood on that
corner every night, in all kinds of weather,
watching your more...