Stupid Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. What did the pink panther say when he steped on an ant?
A. "Dead ant, dead ant... dead ant, dead ant, dead ant..."
We wish to repeat an interesting business rumor.
If this one pans out, remember that you saw it
here first.
It is widely rumored today on the internet
that United Parcel Service and Federal
Express have begun preliminary discussions
regarding a potential merger.
The new company will be called: FedUp.
To really succeed in a business or organization, it is sometimes helpful to know what your job is, and whether it involves any duties. Ask among your coworkers.
"Hi," you should say. "I'm a new employee. What is the name of my job?"
If they answer "long-range planner" or "lieutenant governor," you are pretty much free to lounge around and do crossword puzzles until retirement. Most jobs,
however, will require some work.
There are two major kinds of work in modern organizations:
1. Taking phone messages for people who are in meetings, and,
2. Going to meetings.
Your ultimate career strategy will be to get a job involving primarily No. 2, going to meetings, as soon as possible, because
that's where the real prestige is. It is all very well and good to be able to take phone messages, but you are never going to get a position of power, a position where you can cost thousands of people their jobs with a single more...
Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege!
There were three little pigs named Shutup, Stupid, and Trouble, and they were driving a car through the countryside once day.
Trouble leaned too far out the window and fell out of the car, and then down a hill, so Shutup and Stupid started looking for him.
A police car stopped to see what was the matter, but when the cops asked what their names were, the pigs each said their names in turn.
"Shutup"
"Stupid"
Misunderstanding them, the cops asked them if they were looking for trouble, and they said "Yes, he fell out of the car and rolled down the hill."
1. A few clowns short of a circus.
2. A few fries short of a happy meal.
3. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
4. All foam, no beer.
5. The butter has slipped off his pancake.
6. The cheese slid off his cracker.
7. Body by fisher, brains by Mattel.
8. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
9. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
10. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
11. As smart as bait.
12. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
13. Her sewing machine's out of thread.
14. One fruit loop shy of a full bowl.
15. Her antenna doesn't pick up all channels.
16. His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
17. Proof that evolution can go in reverse.
18. Receiver is off the hook.
19. Not wired to code.
20. Skylight leaks a little.
21. She stayed on the tilt-a-whirl a bit to long.
22. Too much yardage between the goal more...