Style Jokes / Recent Jokes

A christian democrat
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
A socialist
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
An American republican
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
An American democrat
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for
being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows,
forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you
voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your
neighbor. You feel righteous.
A communist
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you
with milk.
A fascist
You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the
milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
Democracy, American style
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have
to sell both to support a man in a more...

You don't know what "Wushu" means When someone ask you what style you do you say:"kungfu" You don't do qi gong everyday You don't know Tajiquan is the most feared style in china You mixed Wushu moves you saw in Jet Li movies with your karate forms You go to some fake Shaolin school Your teacher claims to master at least 700 forms You don't train everyday You break dance You like Jet Li but do tae kwon do You think Wushu is a dance You don't know Taiji can kill people You rarely train, you listen to hip hop, and you like Wu Tang Clan You collect Jet Li movies and manga stuff You proudly wear cotton Chinese martial arts uniform with white buttons You teach karate.... and also Taiji You use the word Shaolin more than once a year You own a katana you bought in Chinatown and your proud of it You go to Asian parties You think your a good martial artist You read books about Buddhism too You went to a Zen meditation class once and never went back You think you don't need more...

For those of you about to become first-time fathers, you should know something that us old pros do: there are three stages of sex with your mate during pregnancy.
During the first trimester, you do it regular style. During the second trimester, you do it doggie style.
During the last trimester, you do it wolf style. "What the heck is wolf style?" you ask. That's when you sit by the hole and howl!

1. We are always clean.
2. We are totally comfortable saying, "I'll show you my breast if you show me your fly."
3. Bathing suits. Need I say more?
4. We WILL last the longest.
5. We know several different paces.
6. We LiKE it wet.
7. We will never hesitate to get on our backs.
8. We're good with our hips.
9. We never have any extra "baggage" in places where there isn't supposed to be any.
10. Not only do we put on latex fast and easy, but we go through enough of it in one year to cover our wallpaper with it.
11. We aren't always looking to "score" like all other athletes.
12. We don't "play games."
13. We go in hard, pull out fast, and come out wet.
14. We won't give up when we're tired.
15. Why would we want to play with balls???
16. We find it normal to jam a piece of styrafoam between our legs.
17. We dont like to wear pants.
18. We can hold our breath for long periods of more...

A city slicker shoots a duck out in the country. As he’s retrieving it, a farmer walks up and stops him, claiming that since the duck is on his farm, it technically belongs to him. After minutes of arguing, the farmer proposes they settle the matter "country style."

"What’s country style?" asks the city boy.

"Out here in the country," the farmer says, "when two fellers have a dispute, one feller kicks the other one in the balls as hard as he can. Then that feller, why, he kicks the first one as hard as he can. And so forth. Last man standin’ wins the dispute."

Warily the city boy agrees and prepares himself. The farmer hauls off and kicks him in the groin with all his might. The city boy falls to the ground in the most intense pain he’s ever felt, crying like a baby and coughing up blood. Finally he staggers to his feet and says, "All right, n-now it’s–it’s more...

Original Lyric
Put your left foot in,
Your left foot out,
Your left foot in,
And shake it all about.
You do the hokey pokey,
And turn yourself around
That's what it's all about.
Shakespearean Style.
O proud left foot, that ventures quick within,
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke;
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from heaven's yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke - banish now thy doubt.
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.

A man goes into a little neighborhood pub, and when he sits down, he notices a beautiful woman sitting at the other end of the bar. He waves to her, and much to his surprise, she winks back at him. It doesn't take long before he is on the stool next to her. They talk for about fifteen minutes and then the man says to the woman, "You're really hot!"
"You're pretty cute, too," she says to him. "I'll tell you what... I live just around the corner - what do you think about coming up to my place?"
"That sounds great!" the man eagerly replies.
"Before we go up there, though," the woman says, "I have to ask you one question: Do you like doing it Greek style?"
"Well... uh... I'm not exactly sure what that is," the man answers, "but it sure sounds interesting and I'm willing to learn! Let's go!"
So the two of them walk over to her apartment. As soon as they get inside the door, the woman rips more...