Success Jokes / Recent Jokes

Glyme's Formula for Success: The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

Jack was walking around when he noticed a ladder that went up into the clouds. After climbing the first cloud he met a stinky, unattractive woman who said, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success."
Jack chose to climb the ladder.
At the next cloud he met a slightly better looking woman who said, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success." Figuring it only gets better, Jack chose to climb the ladder some more.
At the next cloud, he met a very attractive woman who said, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success." Things were getting better the higher he got, so Jack chose to climb the ladder even more.
At the fourth cloud, he met the most gorgeous woman to ever grace the Universe. She looked at him seductively and begged, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success." Jack was extremely tempted to satisfy his urges but still, he climbed the ladder to success.
At the fifth cloud, Jack was startled when more...

Jack was walking around when he noticed a ladder that went up into the clouds. After climbing the first cloud he met a stinky, unattractive woman who said, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success."Jack chose to climb the ladder.At the next cloud he met a slightly better looking woman who said, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success." Figuring it only gets better, Jack chose to climb the ladder some more.At the next cloud, he met a very attractive woman who said, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success." Things were getting better the higher he got, so Jack chose to climb the ladder even more.At the fourth cloud, he met the most gorgeous woman to ever grace the Universe. She looked at him seductively and begged, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success." Jack was extremely tempted to satisfy his urges but still, he climbed the ladder to success.At the fifth cloud, Jack was startled when a greasy, 500lb naked more...

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you`ve got it made.

The Red Wings and Blackhawks will play on New Year's Day at Wrigley Field. With ice on the field, Cub fans may better understand why success keeps slipping away.

A man visited his doctor because he had a severe stuttering problem. After a thorough examination, the doctor consulted with the patient.

Doctor: "It appears that the reason for your stuttering is that your penis is about six inches too long and it is pulling on your vocal cords, thereby causing you this annoying problem of stuttering."

Patient: "Ddddd octttor. Whhaaat cccan I dddo?"

The doctor scratches his forehead, thinks for a minute and states that there is a procedure where we can free up the strain on the vocal cords by removing that six inches from the penis, freeing him from this horrible problem.

The patient stuttering badly states that this problem has caused him so much embarrassment, as well as, loss of employment and that anything would be worth it. The doctor plans for the procedure. The operation is a success and six months later the patient comes in for his follow up.

Patient: "Doctor, the more...

At age 4, success is... not peeing your pants.
At age 12, success is... having friends.
At age 16, success is... having a driver's license.
At age 20, success is... having sex.
At age 35, success is... having money.
At age 55, success is... having money.
At age 65, success is... having sex.
At age 70, success is... having a driver's license.
At age 80, success is... having friends.
At age 85, success is... not peeing your pants.