Success Jokes / Recent Jokes

Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

Success covers a multitude of blunders.

Success comes in cans...Failure comes in can'ts.

The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.

Marriage Quotes 1
In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes. - Elizabeth Ashley
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success. - Jim Backus
No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. - Honore de Balzac
Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting. - Ray Bandy
Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. - Baskins
I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting. - Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hall of Fame Inductions
Love: a temporary insanity often curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce
The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity. - Ambrose Bierce
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me more...

At age 4.... success is.... not peeing in your pants.
At age 12... success is.... having friends.
At age 17... success is.... having a drivers license.
At age 20... success is.... having sex.
At age 35... success is.... having money.
At age 50... success is.... having money.
At age 60... success is.... having sex.
At age 70... success is.... having a drivers license.
At age 75... success is.... having friends.
At age 80... success is.... not peeing in your pants

It seems that life goes by resembling somewhat of a bell curve of what is considered successful...
At age 4... success is... not peeing in your pants.
At age 10... success is... making your own meals.
At age 12... success is... having friends.
At age 16... success is... having a drivers license.
At age 20... success is... having sex.
At age 35... success is... having money.
At age 50... success is... having money.
At age 60... success is... having sex.
At age 70... success is... having a drivers license.
At age 75... success is... having friends.
At age 80... success is... making your own meals.
At age 85... success is... not peeing in your pants.