Successful Jokes / Recent Jokes
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at more...
To be successful at fishing, you should get there yesterday, when the fish were biting.
However, the most successful accountant of all was the one who took his father's advice and carved a career for himself. He became a chiseler.
Women's Lifestyles Through the AgesAGE... DRINK17... Winecoolers25... White wine35... Red wine48... Dom Perignon66... Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaserEXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES17... Need to wash my hair25... Need to wash and condition my hair 35... Need to color my hair48... Need to have Francois color my hair66... Need to have Francois color my wigFAVORITE SPORT17... shopping25... shopping35... shopping48... shopping66... shoppingFAVORITE DRUG17... shopping25... shopping35... shopping48... shopping66... shoppingDEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE17... "Burger King"25... "Free meal"35... "A diamond"48... "A bigger diamond"66... "Home Alone"FAVORITE FANTASY17... tall, dark and handsome25... tall, dark and handsome with money35... tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain 48... a man with hair66... a manHOUSE PET17... Muffy the cat25... Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat35... Irish setter and Muffy the Cat48... Children from his more...
Age DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE 17 "Burger King" 25 "Free meal" 35 "A diamond" 48 "A bigger diamond" 66 "Home Alone"
A carnival, which included a huckster with an elephant, was travelling through a small town. The huckster was offering people $100 if they could make the elephant nod its head up and down. Many people tried, but no one was successful. Finally, a small quiet individual appeared and timidly asked if he could try.
He promptly walked around the elephant and gave it a good swift kick in the backside. The elephant was so surprised, it jerked its head up and down. The little man pocketed his $100 and walked away.
The following year, the same carnival returned, with the same huckster and the same elephant. The huckster had decided to make sure he wouldn't lose any more money in this town, so he offered $500 to anyone who could make the elephant nod its head up and down, then shake it from side to side.
Again, many people tried. They pulled the elephant's ears, pulled its tail, tickeled it, etc., but no one was successful. Finally, the same little man appeared and asked if he could more...