Suffers Jokes

A lone tourist who is passing through the suburbs on the way to town by car, unfortunately experiences mechanical problems with the automobile. The car stalls and the tourist parks the car by the side of the road and waits for help. Not much later, a farmer happens to pass by with a truck full of farm animals. The farmer offers the tourist a lift to town and proceeds to explain that he is bringing his farm animals to the town market, where they will be auctioned off to the highest bidders. Well, it so happens that on the way to the town, the farmer being so engrossed in his story, unintentionally wanders into the other side of road where another vehicle is approaching in the other direction. The farmer realizes his absent mindness and attempts to avoid the possible collision with the other vehicle. He just misses the other car, but unfortunately crashes the truck into the side of the road. The tourist winds up thrown into a ditch and suffers broken ribs and a broken arm and leg and is more...

A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife about the problem. She responds, "My husband suffers from premature ejaculation."

The counselor turns to her husband and inquires "Is that true?"

The husband replies "Not exactly. I mean, she's the one that suffers, not me."

A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife about the problem. She responds, "My husband suffers from premature ejaculation." The counselor turns to her husband and inquires "Is that true?" The husband replies "Well not exactly, she's the one that suffers, not me."

He does not have a beer gut; he develops a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.
He is not quiet; he is a Conversational Minimalist.
He does not have a fabulous rear end; he has achieved Buttocks Perfection.
He is not stupid; he suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.
He does not get lost all the time; he discovers Alternative Destinations.
He is not balding; he is in Follicle Regression.
You do not buy him a drink; you initiate an Alcohol-For-Conversation Exchange.
He does not fart and belch; he is Gastronomically Expressive.
His jeans are not too tight; he is Anatomically Undercirculated.
He is not a redneck; he is a Genetically-Related American.
You do not kiss him; you become Facially Conjoined.
He is not a cradle robber; he prefers Generationally Differential Relationships.
He does not get falling-down drunk; he becomes Accidentally Horizontal.
He does not act like a total ass; he develops a Case Of Rectal-Cranial Inversion.
He more...

He does not have a beer gut; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.He is not quiet; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.He is not stupid; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.He does not get lost; he DISCOVERS ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.He is not balding; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.He is not a cradle robber; he prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.He does not get falling-down drunk; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.He does not act like a total ass; he develops a case of RECTAL CRANIAL INVERSION.He is not short; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.He does not constantly talk about cars; he has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION.He is not unsophisticated; he is SOCIALLY MALFORMED.He does not eat like a pig; he suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA.He does not hog the blankets; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.He is not a male chauvinist pig; he has SWINE EMPATHY.He doesn't have a dirty mind; he has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS.He is not afraid of commitment; he is MONOGAMOUSLY more...