Suit Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde was spending most of her vacation sunbathing on the hotel roof. The first day she wore a bathing suit. However, on the second day she decided that no one could see her way up there, so she slipped out of it to get an even tan.
She had hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. Since she was lying on her stomach, she just pulled a towel over her rear.
"Excuse me miss," said the out of breath, flustered assistant manager of the hotel. "The hotel doesn't mind you sunbathing on the roof, but we would appreciate it if you would wear a bathing suit as you did yesterday!"
"What difference does it make?" she calmly asked. "No one can see me up here and besides, I am covered with a towel."
"Not exactly, miss," replied the embarrassed man. "You happen to be lying on the dining room skylight!"

A rather well proportioned young lady, Joan, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of the hotel.She wore a bathing suit the first day but, on the second, being a naturist, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan.She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear."Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs."The hotel doesn't mind you sunbathing on the roof but we would very much appreciate you wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday.""What difference does it make," Joan asked rather calmly."No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel.""Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."

A rather well-proportioned secretary (the blonde), spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone run-ning up the stairs; she was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.
"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."
"What difference does it make," Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."
"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."

You Might Be A College Student:
If you average 3 hours of sleep a night
If your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn't
If you go to Wal-Mart more than 3 times a week
If you are personally keeping the local pizza place from bankruptcy
If you wake up 10 minutes before class
If you wear the same jeans 13 days in a row - without washing them
If your breakfast consists of a coke on the way to class
If your social life consists of a date with the library
If it takes a shovel to find the floor of your room
If you carry less than a dollar on your person
If you haven't done laundry in so long you are wearing your swim suit to class
If you celebrate when you find a quarter
If your room is so cold that your toilet freezes over
If you wear a sweat suit for so long that it stands up by itself
If your backpack is giving you Scoliosis
If you get more sleep in class than in your room
If your idea of feeding the poor is more...

You Might Be A College Student:If you average 3 hours of sleep a nightIf your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn'tIf you go to Wal-Mart more than 3 times a weekIf you are personally keeping the local pizza place from bankruptcyIf you wake up 10 minutes before classIf you wear the same jeans 13 days in a row - without washing themIf your breakfast consists of a coke on the way to classIf your social life consists of a date with the libraryIf it takes a shovel to find the floor of your roomIf you carry less than a dollar on your personIf you haven't done laundry in so long you are wearing your swim suit to classIf you celebrate when you find a quarterIf your room is so cold that your toilet freezes overIf you wear a sweat suit for so long that it stands up by itselfIf your backpack is giving you ScoliosisIf you get more sleep in class than in your roomIf your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some Ramen NoodlesIf you can sleep through your roommate's blaring more...

A rather well-proportioned secretary (the blonde), spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone run-ning up the stairs; she was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.
"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."
"What difference does it make," Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."
"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."

NEWS FLASH NEWS FLASH... U. P... A. P... BBC... NBC... ETC...
About twelve midnight local time an old man in a red suit and a long white beard was arrested while trying to gain entrance into the white house. Due to all the recent incidents at the white house, security has been extra tight and despite the old mans protest that he was just trying to deliver some gifts, the secret service had him locked up by twelve ten pm.
When the president was contacted his only comment was it must have been Rush Limbaugh, since he knew everyone else in the country loved him.
The old mans transportation (a sleigh and eight animals) was taken to the FBI lab for a complete search.
When the whole incident was over, the president gave a sigh or relief and said MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL "is that okay Hill???" Oh well a weak attempt at humor on a full stomach. Eat too much venison for Christmas Dinner. Hope you all have a real nice Christmas and a Happy New Year.