Sunbathing Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading. The girl cam up to him and asked "What do you have under the newspaper, mister?" "A bird" the guy replied. The little girl walked away and the guy fell asleep. When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain. When the Police asked him what happened, the guy replied, "I don't know. I was lying on the beach, this girl asked me about my privates, and the next thing I know is I'm here." The police went back to the beach, found the girl, and asked her "What did you do to that naked fellow?" after a little pause, the girl replied, "To him? Nothing. I was playing with the bird and it spit on me, so I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire."

A blonde was spending almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan.
She’d hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.
“Excuse me, miss, ” said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. “The hotel doesn’t mind you sunbathing on the roof, but we’d appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday. ”
“What difference does it make, ” the blonde asked rather calmly. “No one can see me up here, and besides, I’m covered with a towel. ”
“Not exactly, ” said the embarrassed gentleman. “You’re lying on the dining room skylight. ”

A man was on the beach, sunbathing in the nude, when he noticed a little girl coming towards him. He quickly took the newspaper he was reading and covered himself with it.
"Hey, mister, what do you have under the newspaper?" asked the little girl.
"Just a bird," he replied. The little girl walked away and he fell asleep.
When he woke up, he found himself lying in a hospital bed in tremendous pain. The police asked him what had happened.
"I don't know," he groaned. "The last thing I remember is lying on the beach and a little girl asking me about my privates. Next thing I know, I'm here."
The police went to the beach to look for the little girl. When they found her, they asked her what she had done to the naked man.
She paused for a moment, then replied, "I didn't do anything to him. I was playing with the bird and it spit at me. So, I broke its neck, cracked its eggs and set its nest on fire."

A rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan.
She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs; she was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.
"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The hotel doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."
"What difference does it make," she asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."
"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."

Joan, a rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel.
She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs; she was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.
"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."
"What difference does it make," Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."
"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."