Sundays Jokes / Recent Jokes

Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing. Dishes must drip dry. Ice cream may not be eaten on Sundays. One may not bathe without wearing "suitable clothing," i.e., that which covers one's body from neck to knee. Eugene: It is illegal to show movies or attend a car race on Sundays. Eugene: It is legal to conduct a horse race or a symphony concert. Hood River: Juggling is strictly prohibited without a license. Klamath Falls: It's illegal to walk down a sidewalk and knock a snakes head off with your cane. Portland: It's against the law for a wedding ceremony to be performed at a skating rink. Portland: People may not whistle underwater. Portland: You cannot wear roller skates in restrooms. Marion: Ministers are forbidden from eating garlic or onions before delivering a sermon. Myrtle Creek: One may not box with a kangaroo. Salem: Women may not wrestle in Salem. Springfield: It is illegal to own a reptile within the city limits, unless you are a school or city, as a more...

South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn`t Actually Surrender
A short story...
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
How do you know when you`re staying in a South Carolina hotel?
"When you call the front desk and say "I`ve gotta leak in my sink."
and the person at the front desk says "go ahead".
South Carolina: Just south of North Carolina
Dumb South Carolina Laws
It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide.
Every adult male must bring a rifle to church on Sunday in order to ward off Indian attacks.
It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.
When approaching a four way or blind intersection in a non-horse driven vehicle you must stop more...

A group of people were in a shipwreck and were stranded on an island. The group consisted of 12 women and 1 man. After a few months, the women grew horny and it was decided that the man needed to take two women a day and they allowed him to have Sundays off. One day on a day off, he was just relaxing when he noticed a boat nearing. He felt hopeful that maybe they would be rescued, at last. The boat was almost to the island when the guy noticed it was a man in the boat. As he got out the first guy said "Oh my God buddy, am I ever glad to see YOU, To which the second guy responded "Well alright sweetie! It's been a long time for me too." The first man exclaimed "Oh hell, there go my Sundays!"

A fellow was shipwrecked with six lovely women whoin a short time were fighting over his attentions.They held a meeting to resolve the problem anddecided that each would have his services on adifferent day of the week, with Sundays off for him. In due time the guy was dragging himself through theweek, looking forward to Sunday. As he lay an the beach one day he saw a dot floatingon the sea which as it got closer turned out to be aman on a raft. With his last ounce of strength heswam out, pulled the raft ashore, gave the occupantCPR and as he came around said to him; "Oh man, amI ever glad to see you! "Goodness gracious, am I ever glad to see you too"said the raft rider in a swishy way.With a shrug of resignation the guy said... "Oh damn, there goes my Sundays!"

Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday. It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3. 2% alcohol. No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days. (Repealed) It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence. Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses. Colorado Springs It is permissable to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays. Crippe Creek It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building. Denver The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park. It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor. It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver, Colorado. You may not drive a black car on Sundays. Durango It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming" on more...

Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses. It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence. No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days. (Repealed) It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3. 2% alcohol. Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday. It is permissable to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays. It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building. You may not drive a black car on Sundays. It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor. It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver, Colorado. The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park. It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming" on one's sex. It is illegal for a man to kiss a more...

A group of people were in a shipwreck and were stranded on an island.
The group consisted of 12 women and 1 man. After a few months, the women grew horny and it was decided that the man needed to take two women a day and they allowed him to have Sundays off.
One day on a day off, he was just relaxing when he noticed a boat nearing. He felt hopeful that maybe they would be rescued, at last.
The boat was almost to the island when the guy noticed it was a man in the boat. As he got out the first guy said "Oh my God buddy, am I ever glad to see YOU, To which the second guy responded "Well alright sweetie! It's been a long time for me too."
The first man exclaimed "Oh hell, there go my Sundays!"