Supervisor Jokes / Recent Jokes

The first day that a young boy went to work in the produce department at a local grocery store he was encountered by a customer with dark hair and wearing a suit. The customer told the boy that he wanted to buy a 1/2 head of lettuce. The young boy informed the customer that he would have to consult his supervisor in order to sell just a 1/2 head of lettuce. As the boy approached his supervisor he whispered “Hey, some ASSHOLE wants to buy a 1/2 head of lettuce. ” The boy then noticed that the customer was standing right behind him. The boy then said ” And this nice man would like to buy the other 1/2. ”
The Supervisor was so impressed the boy’s wit and quick thinking that he offered the boy a management position in Washington, St. The boy accepted the offer and stated that the only thing from Washington was whores and hockey players. The Supervisor said “Hey, my wife is from Washington. ” The young boy said “Oh yea, what team did she play for? ”

I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang.
ME: Hello.
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T.
ME: Is this AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...
ME: This is AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...
ME: Is this AT&T.?
AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron, please?
ME: May I ask who is calling?
AT&T: This is AT&T.
ME: OK, hold on.
At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.
ME: Hello?
AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?
ME: May I ask who is calling, please?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...
ME: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...
ME: The phone company.
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.
ME: I already have a phone.
AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. more...

The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile.
Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.
Remember, when you gotta cuff 'em ..nobody is your friend.
If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.
Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second?(if you aren't a shooter, that is the average speed of a 9mm projectile (slug)).
So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?
Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?
Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.
The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?
God made tomorrow for the crooks we don't catch today.
Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets more...

Two gas men were out checking meters in a residential neighborhood one day. They parked the truck at the end of the street and worked their way up the street. At the last house, a woman watched from her kitchen window as they checked her meter.Finally finishing their work, the older man, a supervisor, challenged the younger man, his trainee, to a race back to their truck, wanting to prove that an older man could still beat a younger man.They raced back to the truck, with the supervisor holding a lead, when they noticed that the woman from the last house was racing up behind them. They stopped until she caught up and asked what was wrong.As she gasped for breath, she said, "When I saw you two gas men running as hard as you could, I figured I'd better run too!"

The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."Just how big were those two beers? In God we trust, all others are suspects."

Two Italian construction workers were in the field on an extremely hot day working.. the one says to the other "hey how come we do all a da work and he gets all a da money?" pointing to the supervisor.

The other says, "I don't know, go ask him."

So Guido goes up to the supervisor and says "Hey, how come we do all a da work and you get all a da money?"

The supervisor says "Intelligence".

Guido says "what is this intelligence?"

The supervisor puts his hand on a tree and says "Hita my hand as hard as you can!"

Guido winds up and with all his might tries to hit the supervisors hand. Just as he almost does the supervisor pulls his hand away and Guido hits the tree!

The supervisor says "Thats intelligence".

Still smarting Guido goes back to his coworker and his coworker says "Hey what did he say?"

With a sheepish more...

Santa got a part time job at the Chandigarh Post Office. The first assignment his supervisor gave him was the job of sorting the mail.
Santa separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. Extremely pleased by this, the supervisor approached Santa at the end of his first day.
"I just want you to know," the supervisor said, "that I'm very pleased with the job you did today. You're one of the fastest workers we've ever had."
"Thank you, Sir" said Santa, beaming, "and tomorrow I'll try to do even better."
"Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment. "How can you possibly do any better than you did today?"
Santa replied, "Tomorrow I'm going to read the addresses."