Supervisor Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man got a job as a night watchman at a factory. There had been a lot of thefts by the workers on the night shift, and so every morning when the night shift workers passed through his gate it was his job to check their bags and pockets to make sure that nothing was being stolen.
Things were going along very well the first night on the job until a man pushing a wheelbarrow of newspaper came through his gate. Aha, he thought, that man thinks he can cover up what he is stealing with that newspaper. So he removed the paper only to find nothing. Still he felt that the man was acting strangely, so he questioned him about the paper.
"I get a little extra money from newspapers I recycle, so I go into the lunchroom and pick up all the ones people have thrown away." The guard let him pass, but decided to keep a close eye on him. The next night it was the same, and the night after that. Week after week it went on. The same guy would push the wheelbarrow of more...
A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused.Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job.Active socially: Drinks heavily.Alert to company developments: An office gossip.Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job.Average: Not too bright.Bridge builder: Likes to compromise.Character above reproach: Still one step ahead of the law.Charismatic: No interest in any opinion but his own.Competent: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.Conscientious and careful: Scared.Consults with co-workers often: Indecisive, confused, and clueless.Consults with supervisor often: Very annoying.Delegates responsibility effectively: Passes the buck well.Demonstrates qualities of leadership: Has a loud voice.Displays excellent intuitive judgement: Knows when to disappear.Displays great dexterity and agility: Dodges and evades superiors well.Enjoys job: Needs more to do.Excels in sustaining concentration but avoids confrontations: Ignores everyone.Excels in more...
The visiting Bible school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class, "Who broke down the walls of Jericho?"Little Johnny replies, "I dunno, but it wasn't me!"The supervisor, taken aback by Johnny's lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident.The principal replies, "I know Little Johnny as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them; if Little Johnny said that he did not do it, then I, as principal is satisfied that it is the truth."Even more appalled, the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole story...After listening he replies: "I can't see why you are making such a big issue out of this; just get three quotes and fix the wall!"
Two Italian construction workers were in the field on an extremely hot day working.. the one says to the other " hey how come we do all a da work and he gets all a da money?" pointing to the supervisor. The other says, "I don't know, go ask him." So Guido goes up to the supervisor and says "Hey, how come we do all a da work and you get all a da money?" The supervisor says "Intelligence". Guido says "what is this intelligence?" The supervisor puts his hand on a tree and says "Hita my hand as hard as you can!" Guido winds up and with all his might tries to hit the supervisors hand. Just as he almost does the supervisor pulls his hand away and Guido hits the tree! The supervisor says "That's intelligence". Still smarting Guido goes back to his co-worker and his co-worker says "Hey what did he say?" With a sheepish look on his face Guido puts his hand on his face and says "hita my hand as hard as you more...
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.
Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.
As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"
BANTA SINGH, a Punjabi cobbler, found a job in a leather factory in England. It had all the modern gadgetry which got Banta very baffled. When it came to a massive machine, the supervisor explained to him: "This is the latest in leather technology. We put a buffalo in at one end and ready-made shoes come out of the other."
Not to be outdone, Banta Singh replied, "We in India have a better machine. We put in old shoes at one end and get a live buffalo out of the other."
"That's wonderful! exclaimed the English supervisor, "What happens to the laces?"
"They come out as the buffalo's tail."
Subject: Additional Training
It is now and always has been the policy of this Company to assure its
employees that they are well trained. Through our Special High Intensity
Training program (SHIT), we have given our employees more SHIT than any
other company in the area.
If any employee feels that he or she could advance to another position by
taking more SHIT, see your supervisor.
Our management people are specially trained to assure that you will get all
the SHIT you can handle.
Any individual who feels he or she has not received sufficient Special High
Intensity Training, tell your supervisor, she he can put you at the top of
the SHIT list.
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What do you call a truck load of vibrators?
- Toys for twats.
What is red and has seven dents?
- Snow White's cherry
How can you tell Dolly Parton's more...