"JOKES | MORE" joke
Subject: Additional Training
It is now and always has been the policy of this Company to assure its
employees that they are well trained. Through our Special High Intensity
Training program (SHIT), we have given our employees more SHIT than any
other company in the area.
If any employee feels that he or she could advance to another position by
taking more SHIT, see your supervisor.
Our management people are specially trained to assure that you will get all
the SHIT you can handle.
Any individual who feels he or she has not received sufficient Special High
Intensity Training, tell your supervisor, she he can put you at the top of
the SHIT list.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you call a truck load of vibrators?
- Toys for twats.
What is red and has seven dents?
- Snow White's cherry
How can you tell Dolly Parton's kids in a group?
- They are the ones with the stretch marks on their lips
What do you call the sweat between Dolly Parton's tits?
- Mountain Dew
Which of the following doesn't belong--- wife, meat, eggs, blowjob?
- Blowjob, because you can beat your wife, your meat, and eggs, but you can't
beat a blowjob.
What od you call a Mexican baptism?
- Bean dip
What the difference between a pervert and a kinky person?
- A pervert uses a feather and a kinky person uses the whole chicken.
What's the definition of endless love?
- Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis
What do gays refer to hemmoroids as?
- Speed bumps
What do you get when you mix holy water with castor oil?
- A religious movement
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two dogs were sitting in a vet's office. The bigger of the dogs gruffs,
"Whatcha doing here?" The little dog responds, "I'm getting' fixed'.
Whenever I see my master I get so horney I just jump on her leg and
start pumping. It's very embarassing." The first dog says, "Yeah, I
know what you mean. One morning my master had just gotten out of the
shower, and was sitting on the side of the bed. She leaned down to pick
up her clothes from the floor, and I couldn't resist it... I jumped up
and starting taking it from the rear!" The second dog exclaimed, "Wow!
So you're here to be fixed too?"
"Hell no, I'm getting de-clawed."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why don't blind people skydive?
A: Because it scares the sh*t out of their dogs: )
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
Jim decided to propose to Sandy. But prior to her acceptance, Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed Jim that she suffered a disease that left her breasts the maturity of a 12 year old's.
He stated that it was okay, because he loved more...
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.
The Indian Chief proclaims,
"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger... In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days."
"Before I kill you, I more...
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.
"Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she more...
A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Boudreaux. The boss thought to himself, "I'm not hiring that lazy Cajun," so he decided to set a test for Boudreaux hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse more...