Blowjob Jokes

A man is out walking in the hills when he sees a woman standing on the edge of a cliff.She is very upset and crying loudly.

What are you doing up here, said the man.

I’m going to kill myself, replied the woman.

Well, before you do, what about giving me a blowjob? said the man.

The woman proceeds to give him the best blowjob he can remember.

Anyway, why do you want to kill yourself? asks the man.

Because my family have disowned me for dressing up as a woman.’

Subject: Additional Training

It is now and always has been the policy of this Company to assure its
employees that they are well trained. Through our Special High Intensity
Training program (SHIT), we have given our employees more SHIT than any
other company in the area.

If any employee feels that he or she could advance to another position by
taking more SHIT, see your supervisor.

Our management people are specially trained to assure that you will get all
the SHIT you can handle.

Any individual who feels he or she has not received sufficient Special High
Intensity Training, tell your supervisor, she he can put you at the top of
the SHIT list.
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What do you call a truck load of vibrators?
- Toys for twats.

What is red and has seven dents?
- Snow White's cherry

How can you tell Dolly Parton's more...

A guy walks into a whorehouse and tells one of the girls he wants a blowjob. The girl takes him to a room and proceeds suck him off without a condom. While she does so, the guy sees a half-full bucket of sperm beside the bed.
He disregards the strange site as he enjoys the best blowjob of his life. A second later, he shoots long lines of semen into her mouth. She takes every drop, but instead of swallowing, she spits the cum into that damned bucket.
The guy wonders aloud, "Don't like swallowing spuzz, huh?" She wipes her mouth and replies, "Another girl and I have a bet. Whoever fills up a bucket first gets to drink both buckets."

Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
A. A navel.
Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.
Q. Why did god create Adam before he created eve?
A. Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
Q. What is a lesbian's favorite thing to eat?
A. A Klondike Bar
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breath through something so small?"
Q. Why don't women wear watches?
A. There's a clock on the stove!
Q. What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
Q. Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
A. They hang around after the man more...

The abbot of a nearby abbey was out in the nearby city running errands
downtown when he saw a woman of questionable character say to a passerby,
"Twenty bucks for a blowjob," at which point the passerby and the woman promptly
went down the next alley, where they went out of view.
The abbot was perplexed, for the very same thing occurred at another
streetcorner in the city. He was walking down a sidewalk, when another woman,
much the same as the first, stated to another passerby, "Twenty bucks for a
blowjob," at which point the two rapidly went into a nearby alley, where
the abbot couldn't see what was going on. Still not knowing what a "blowjob"
was, the abbot left the city as naive as he was upon entering it.
Back up the hill, the abbot was still contemplating what a blowjob was, so
he went to see the mother superior at the adjacent convent. "Mother
superior," he asked, "what's a more...