Survey Jokes / Recent Jokes

A recent survey asked 100 women if their c#*t twitched after sex.
98% replied no he usually just rolls over and falls asleep.

The United States government had just completed an exhaustive study to
find out what purpose the head of a man's penis
served. After three years and almost 2 million dollars, they agreed that
it was to give the woman more pleasure.
Germany, finding out about the survey and not wishing to be left out,
spent 18 months and $450,000.00 and decided that the
head of a man's penis served to give the man more pleasure.
Poland, refusing to be outdone, conducted their own survey. After three
weeks and $29.50, they determined that it was to
keep Stash's hand from sliding off and hitting him in the forehead.

The research worker, conducting a sex survey, phoned one of the husbands whose completed form was spread out before him.
"Mr Pullman, there seems to be some discrepancies between the answers of you and your wife to the same question. For example, under 'Frequency of Intercourse you wrote 'Three times a week and your wife 'Three times a night."
"Well, that's right," replied the husband, "but that's only until we have paid off the mortgage on the house."

Last month in preparation for the Earth Summit currently being hosted by
South Africa, the UN conducted a world-wide survey.
The only question was - "Would you please give your honest opinion about
solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure....

In Africa, they didn't know what "food" meant.
In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In China, they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East, they didn't know what "solutions" meant.
In South America, they didn't know what "please" meant.
And in the USA, they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

Critics say the survey was flawed becuase researchers used a body diagram of Dick Cheney.

In a survey of American women, when asked, "Would you sleepwith President Clinton?" 86% replied, "Not again"

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the shortage of food in rest of the world".

The survey was a huge failure...... .. Do you know WHY?
· In Africa they didn `t know what `food ` meant.


* In India they didn `t know what `honest ` meant.


* In Europe they didn `t know what `shortage ` meant.


* In China they didn `t know what `opinion ` meant.


* In the