Survey Jokes / Recent Jokes
A woman participating in a survey was askedhow she felt about condoms. She said, "Depends on what's in it for me."
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1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade
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An official Gallup survey polled over 1000 women with the question:
Would you sleep with Bill Clinton?
1% said, "No"
2% said, "Yes"
97% said, "Never Again"
Worldwide survey was conducted by the! UN. The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure, In Africa they didn't know what' food' meant, In India they didn't know what' honest' meant, In Europe they didn't know what' shortage' meant, In China they didn't know what' opinion' meant, In the Middle East they didn't know what' solution' meant, In South America they didn't know what' please' meant, And in the USA they didn't know what' the rest of the world' meant!
For his final project in a statistics class, a student decided to conduct a survey. He chose to find out peoples' favorite pastimes.
The teacher required that he sample at least 100 people, so he started out his project visiting a fairly large apartment building near the university.
He knocked on the first door and a man answered.
"Sir, what is your name ?"; asked the student
"John",
"Sir, I'm doing a school study and would like to know what is your favorite pastime?"
"Watching bubbles in bath," Came the reply.
He liked the esoterical answer and continued down the hall, until he came to the next door, when he asked again.
"Sir, what is your name ?"
"Jeff!",
"Sir, Would you please tell me your favorite pastime?"
"Watching bubbles in bath," was the answer.
Quite amused and confused he went on to ask a good number of people in the building and all of them had more...
A survey on sexual habits was being carried out by a popular newspaper and one questioner stopped an elderly Italian gentleman in the street who was wearing a black suit and asked him how often he had sexual intercourse.
"Oh, about half a dozen times a year", said the gentleman. The questioner smiled.
"I thought you Italians were supposed to be sexy!" she said.
"We are," said the gentleman. "But, I don't think half a dozen times a year is so bad for a seventy-two year old priest with no car"
After having been commissioned by God to take a survey of how man was doing on Earth, St. Peter now stood before his boss ready to present his findings.
'Tell me, St. Peter, what have you found out?' God asked.
'I'm very sorry to have to tell you this, but the people are behaving in a sinful manner. There's drugs, alcohol, murders, you name it - a regular Sodom and Gomorra. But the worst is this new obsession with oral sex. According to my survey, 88% of the population is doing it. Even four out of five dentists recommend it. I'm afraid it has reached epidemic proportions.'
'Hmmm,' God said thoughtfully,' Do you have any recommendations as to what should be done to put an end to this sexual perversion?'
'I think we should send a message to everyone on Earth who engages in oral sex. The Contents of that message should tell them exactly what will happen to them on judgment day if they do not stop this type of activity.' replied St. more...