Suspect Jokes / Recent Jokes
"Sir, I understand you admit to having broken into the dress shop four times," the judge said.
"Yes, Your Honor," the suspect replied.
"What did you steal?" the judge asked.
"I stole a dress, Your Honor," replied the suspect.
"One dress?" the judge bellowed. "But you have admitted to breaking in four times!"
"Yes, Your Honor," sighed the suspect, "but the first three times my wife didn't like the color!"
D E S M O I N E S, Iowa? Harpal Singh may have thought he'd seen the last of the man who just robbed him, but the suspect apparently had to get in the last word, police say.
When Singh, a clerk at a Citgo gas station, called police to report the heist, the suspect returned to the store and corrected his description.
Just as Singh told authorities the suspect was "5-something" in height, the suspect, Steven Hebron, told Singh, he was actually 6-foot-2, police said.
He also corrected the clerk when he said the robber was about 38 years old, according to the Des Moines Register "I'm 34," Hebron clarified.
The first time he left the Citgo Quik Mart last Wednesday evening, Hebron tried to run out with several cartons of cigarettes, police allege.
The bag ripped as he headed for the door, however, and Hebron's wallet fell on the floor, a cashier told authorities.
When the cashier yelled for help, Singh more...
A detective is mentoring a blonde rookie officer and decides to give her a challenge. So he gives her a mugshot of a suspect turned to one side and tells her to see if she can give details about the suspect just by looking at the picture. The blonde looks at the picture and immediately says, "
He wears contacts."
Confused, the detective looks at the mugshot and since he can't tell that the suspect wears contacts, he tells the blonde, "
Look, don't give me dumb guesses, this is serious."
The blonde says,"
I'm not guessing. I know this guy wears contacts."
Losing his patience, the detective says, "
Look, quit playing around or I'll have to report you."
But the blonde firmly insists, "
I'm telling you, he wears contacts."
Frustrated, the detective decides to prove her wrong by asking the officers for details about the suspect. A few minutes later he comes back looking both shocked and amazed. He more...
A policeman was interviewing three blondes who wanted to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he showed the first blonde a picture for five seconds and then hid it. "This is your suspect. How would you recognize him?" The first blonde answered, "That's easy! We'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman said, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashed the picture at the second blonde and said, "This is your suspect. How would you recognize him?" The second blonde giggled, flipped her hair and said, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily replied, "What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing, because this is a picture of his profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?" Extremely frustrated at this point, he showed the more...
"COMMON SIGNS OF A CHEATING SPOUSE"
HUSBAND:
Chances are that if you suspect your husband is cheating on you, he probably is. But before you call your lawyer or if you think you're just being paranoid, check out these signs of infidelity.
1. Your cheating husband tells you he just hired a new assistant and that she's not very pretty. However, when you meet her for the first time, she's absolutely gorgeous. If your husband isn't cheating, or thinking about it, he wouldn't lie to you about her looks.
2. Cheating husband comes home with lipstick on his collar and says a colleague accidentally bumped into him.
3. Suddenly, cheating husband starts coming home later than usual. He makes excuses that he's working late or hanging around with buddies for a couple of drinks after work. Many times he's telling the truth, but if it happens more often then not, you may have a problem.
4. You are getting phone calls from women who claim that they work more...
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