Sweet Jokes / Recent Jokes

Santa: I'm a proud father. My son is in medical college.

Banta: What's he studying?"

Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!

Life is a paradox-what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't njoy(marriage), what u njoy is not permanent(girlfriend), what is permanent is boring(wife).

Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband’s drinking habit?
Woman: Yes, An Amazing Funny Effect! ! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.

The Eight Worst Convenience Foods
And I thought nothing could top Hormel’s pickled eggs …
8. Meeter’s Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that’s sauerkraut juice, which is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a bit, well, harsh, but KJ is reputed by its fans to have medicinal benefits (as a source of vitamin C, cure for intestinal bugs, etc.), which adds up to a classic case of the cure being worse than the disease.
7. Guycan Corned Mutton with Juices Added (Bedessee Imports): The best thing about this Uruguayan canned good is the very pouty-looking sheep on the package label - he seems to be saying, “Go on, eat me already. ” The second-best thing is the presence of both “cooked mutton” and “mutton” in the ingredients listing, which would seem to have all the mutton bases covered.
6. Armour Pork Brains in Milk Gravy (Dial Corp.): If you’re really looking to clog up those arteries in a hurry, you’ll be pleased to learn that a more...

Husband asks, Do u know the meaning of WIFE. It means... Without Information Fighting Evrytime!

WIFE on hearing this says, it could also mean-With Idiot For Ever.

There's a sweet old couple in Los Angeles. The wife went for a medical examination and when she came home she said to her husband, "The doctor said that I have the heart of a fifty-year-old person, I have the lungs from a forty-year-old person, and my blood pressure is like a person of twenty-five years old."

"Oh, really? And what did he say about your seventy-year-old ass?" asked her husband.

She said, "He never mentioned your name."

Need help coming up with that perfect ditty for your better (or worse) half? Perhaps these will help inspire you!
-These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line:
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
but I only slept with you, cause I was pissed
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
Every time I see your face
I wish I were in outer space
I saw your face as you more...