Sweetheart Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young man tutored his sweetheart maths,
he thought of it as his mission,
he kissed her once then once again and said
"There, that's addition!"
She took it upon herself to return the pleasant action,
she kissed once and once again,
smiled and said "and that's subtraction!"
Now she'd learned the basics without too much complication,
they kissed each other once, then twice,
and said "that must be multiplication!"
Meanwhile the young lady's father
had this' lesson' in his vision,
he kicked that boy ten foot out the door and said
"Then that is long division!"

A young man wanted to purchase a birthday gift for his new sweetheart and since they had not been dating for very long, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note -romantic, but not too personal.
Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he bought a pair of white gloves and the younger sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. While wrapping the items, the clerk mixed them up and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without bothering to check the contents, he sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart along with the following note:
Dearest,
I chose these because I have noticed you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it weren't for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears shorts ones that are far easier to remove.
These are a delicate shade, but the lady I purchased them from showed me the pair she has been wearing for the past few weeks and more...

Online computer users often engage in cyber sex. However, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does... Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like? Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like? Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner... it smells funny. Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me? Wellhung: OKSweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge. Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to more...