Softly Jokes

This is one of the funniest pieces I have ever come across. It is apparently from a real log...
Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...
Wellhung:Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart:I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung:I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner... it smells funny.
Sweetheart:I want you. Would you like to screw more...

Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex.

Then again, maybe he does...

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to fuck me?

Wellhung: OK

Sweetheart: We're in my more...

A woman opened her door on Halloween night to find the most adorable little girl with golden blonde hair and the biggest blue eyes standing before her. Dressed as an angel, the little girl was truly delightful.
"What do you say, sweetheart?" the woman asked.
"Twick or Tweat!" the little angel said softly.
The woman got such a kick out of this that she called her husband to come to the door so he could see the adorable child. "Go ahead, honey, say it one more time," she said to the little girl.
Again, the little angel looked up and softly said, "Twick or Tweat!"
The husband agreed that this little angel was just the cutest thing. The woman took an apple from the treat bowl, polished it up and dropped it into the little girl's treat bag.
The adorable little angel looked in her bag, then up at the woman and exclaimed, "Way to go lady. You just smashed my fucking cookies!"

A few guys were having a beer party in the woods. Suddenly, there was a downpour of rain and thunder. Two of the young men ran for at least ten minutes in the pouring rain, and finally reached their car just as the rain let up. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the road, laughing and, of course, still drinking beer after beer.
All of a sudden, an old man's face appeared outside the passenger window and he tapped lightly on it! The fellow on the passenger side screamed, "Aaaaah! Look at my window! There's an old guy's face there!!"
The old man kept tapping on the window, so the driver said, "Open the window a crack and ask him what he wants!" The passenger rolled his window down slightly and nervously said, "What do you want?"
"Do you have any cigarettes?" the old man softly asked.
Terrified, the passenger looked at the driver and told him the old man wanted a cigarette.
"Well, give the guy a cigarette more...

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse and a miniskirt and high heels. My measurements are 36-24-36. I work out every day. I'm toned and perfect. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought at Walmart. I am also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner - it smells a little funny.
Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK.
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are more...