"Angelic Trick or Treater" joke
A woman opened her door on Halloween night to find the most adorable little girl with golden blonde hair and the biggest blue eyes standing before her. Dressed as an angel, the little girl was truly delightful.
"What do you say, sweetheart?" the woman asked.
"Twick or Tweat!" the little angel said softly.
The woman got such a kick out of this that she called her husband to come to the door so he could see the adorable child. "Go ahead, honey, say it one more time," she said to the little girl.
Again, the little angel looked up and softly said, "Twick or Tweat!"
The husband agreed that this little angel was just the cutest thing. The woman took an apple from the treat bowl, polished it up and dropped it into the little girl's treat bag.
The adorable little angel looked in her bag, then up at the woman and exclaimed, "Way to go lady. You just smashed my fucking cookies!"
Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.
First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!