Swifties Jokes / Recent Jokes

Tom Swifties are a kind of a pun where the way the speaker is described makes the quote into a pun...

"I need a pencil sharpener," said Tom bluntly.

"Oops! There goes my hat!" said Tom off the top of his head.

"I can no longer hear anything," said Tom deftly.

"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.

"This must be an aerobics class," Tom worked out.

"I'm wearing my wedding ring," said Tom with abandon.

"Who would want to steal modern art?" asked Tom abstractedly.

"Now I can chop down that tree," said Tom with a heavy accent.

"Let's all play an A, a C sharp, and an E," cried Tom's band with one accord.

"I gave the donkey some vinegar," said Tom acidly.

"There's room for one more," Tom admitted.

"They are not answering - we'd better more...