Synagogue Jokes / Recent Jokes

An Orthodox Jewish couple are wondering what to get their son for his upcoming Barmitzvah. So when he gets home, they ask him:
"So, David, what would you like for your Barmitzvah?"
He replied, "I would love a motorbike!"
When David had left the room the Jewish couple talked about this amongst themselves. They had no idea what a motorbike was! So, they went down to their synagogue and told the Orthodox Rabbi that their son wanted a motorbike for his Barmitzvah but they didn't know what it was.
"I have no idea!" he said to the couple's surprise. "You'll have to ask the Reform Rabbi down the road."
So the couple walked down the road and asked the same question to the Reform Rabbi. But his reply was the same as the Orthodox Rabbi:
"I don't know! You'll have to ask the ultra-mega Reform Rabbi further down the road."
So, the couple walked further down the road and found the ultra-mega Reform synagogue. They walked more...

New IRS auditor, eager to make a name for himself, decided to review the tax returns of the local synagogue. He assumed they were turning some unreported revenues somewhere, and was determined to find it.
He proceeded to interrogate the Rabbi, asking him what the Synagogue did with the wax drippings from the Shabbat, Havdallah and Chanukah candles.
The Rabbi, pleased to show the auditor that nothing went to waste, responded that the used wax is collected and sent to a candle factory and they send the temple new candles.
"What about the crumbs from the matzah you eat at Passover?" asked the IRS auditor.
"Simple," the Rabbi responded. "We collect all the crumbs, send them to the matzah bakery and they send us matzah meal."
All right, said the auditor, refusing to give up. I know that you're a moyel as well as a Rabbi. What do you do with the leftovers from the circumcisions?"
"That's easy too," said the Rabbi. "We more...

It is Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish calendar. As the day draws
to a close, in a small synagogue in Vilna, the rabbi is praying
fervently. "Oh, God," he says, "I am nothing before you!" The cantor
also says, "Oh, God, I am nothing before you!" Then the shammes,(*)
inspired by their piety, cries out, "Oh, God, I am nothing before
you!" The cantor raises his eyebrows, looks at the rabbi, and says,
"Nu, look who thinks he's nothing!"
(*)shammes: beadle, responsible for maintaining the synagogue, ushering, etc.

A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogueacross the street from each other. Since their schedulesintertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car.So they did. They drove it home and parked it in thestreet between their establishments. A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw thepriest sprinkling water on their new car. It didn't needa wash, so he ran out and asked the priest what he wasdoing. "I'm blessing it" the priest replied.The rabbi replied "Oh," then he ran back into the synagogue.He reappeared a few minutes later with a hack saw, ran to thecar and cut off the last 2 inches of the tailpipe.