Tablecloth Jokes

I thought it would be a nice idea to bring a date to my parents'
house on Christmas Eve. I thought it would be interesting for a
non-Italian girl to see how an Italian family spends the holidays.
I thought my mother and by date would hit it off like partridges
and pear trees.

So, I was wrong.

Sue me.

I had only known Karen for three weeks when I extended the
invitation. "I know these family things can be a little weird," I
told her, "but my folks are great, and we always have a lot of fun
on Christmas Eve."

"Sounds fine to me," Karen said.

I had only known by mother for 31 years when I told her I'd be
bringing Karen with me. "She's a very nice girl and she's really
looking forward to meeting all of you."

"Sounds fine to me," my mother said.

And that was that. Two telephone calls. Two sounds-fine-to-me's.
What more...

The brand-new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry, to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn, arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve. They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc. and on Dec. 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished. On Dec. 19 a terrible tempest--a driving rainstorm-- hit the area and lasted for two days.

On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high. The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home. On the way he noticed that a local business more...

A Man Was Struggling To Get A Table Out Of His House. His Neighbour Saw This And Asked Him, "Why Are You Taking That Table Out Of Your House."
The Man Replies "I Have To Take It To The Shop To Buy A Tablecloth Of Its Size"