Tactful Jokes / Recent Jokes

We approve of this tactful variation on the age-old delicate question: One asks his date for the evening if she'd like to join him for breakfast. Receiving an affirmative reply, he then asks, "Shall I call you or nudge you?"

The Captain called the Sergeant in. “Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me. ”

So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. “Listen up, men, ” says the Sergeant.

“Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander. ”

Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office.

“Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn’t you be a bit more tactful, next time? ”

“Yes, sir, ” answered the Sarge.

A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with,
“Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath’s mother died.
You’d better go tell him and send him in to see more...

A lieutenant was brilliant in military matters, but lacked a few social graces. One day he called a soldier in to the office and said "Kramer, your grandmother died."

The soldier fell apart. After he left, the colonel told the lieutenant, "You could have been a little more tactful. I have some books at home that could help you."

The lieutenant read the half-dozen books lent him by the colonel and was ready for the next crisis. Private Taylor's grandfather had passsed away.

The next morning, at reveille, the lieutenant said, "Men, how many of you have a grandfather still living? Not so fast, Private Taylor!"