Tailor Jokes / Recent Jokes

International Travellers Bloopers1. On a French passenger jet: Live West Under Your Seat.2. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.3. In a Belgrade hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.4. In an Athens hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.5. In a Yugoslav hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.6. In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.7. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel, across from a Russian monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.8. In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension (???).9. In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today: no ice cream.10. On the menu of a Swiss more...

Old Abraham was a poor tailor whose shop was next door to a very upscale French restaurant. Every day at lunch time, Abraham would go out the back of his shop and eat his black bread and herring while smelling the wonderful odors coming from the restaurant's kitchen.
One day, Abraham was surprised to receive an invoice from the restaurant for' enjoyment of food'. So he went to the restaurant to point out that he had not bought anything from them. The manager said, "You're enjoying our food, so you should pay us for it."
Abraham refused to pay and the restaurant sued him. At the hearing, the judge asked the restaurant to present their side of the case. The manager said, "Every day, this man comes and sits outside our kitchen
and smells our food while eating his. It is clear that we are providing added value to his poor food and we deserve to be compensated for it."
The judge turns to Abraham and said, "What do you have to say to more...

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. Sign in a Hong Kong supermarket: "For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service." Sign at fast-food place: "PARKING FOR DRIVE-THRU CUSTOMERS ONLY!" Sign outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: "Ladies may have a fit upstairs." Sign in a Rhodes tailor shop: "Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation." Sign from the Soviet Weekly: "There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15, 000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years." Sign in an East African newspaper: "A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers." Sign in a Vienna hotel: "In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter." Sign in an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: "Teeth extracted by the latest more...

A young banker decided to get his first tailor made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit. A week later he went in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked stunning, he felt that in this suit he can do business.
As he was preening himself in front of the mirror he reached down to put his hands in the pockets and to his surprise he noticed that there were no pockets. He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, "Didn't you tell me you were a banker?"
The young man answered, "Yes, I did."
To this the tailor said, "Who ever heard of a banker with his hands in his own pockets?"

And God Created The Woman
He was so pleased with his creation that he calls in three of his top advisors: His chief Carpenter, His Chief Tailor, and His Chief Architect.
He presents his creation to his Chiefs and asks them for suggestions and comments.
The Carpenter says: "Too many forms, you need to straighten things out, flatten it out." God replies, "No I like it that way, but thanks"
Then the Tailor says: "Too many strings (hair) sticking out, you need to trim them." God replies, "No I like it that way, but thanks"
Then the Architect says: "Wonderful creation, absolutely superb, but next time, please do not place the toilets next to the reception room"

(This is a joke told by the Greaseman, a DJ on DC-101, a Washington radio
station:)
Once upon a time, there was a woman working at a lingerie counter, and
a customer came to the counter with a pair of frilly panties and said
she'd like to buy them, adding, "but only of you can embroider 'If
you can read this, you're too close.' on the back."
So, the saleswoman took the panties to the tailor in back, and described the
rather unusual request.
The tailor said, "Well, she sounds like a stick in the mud, but I can do
that. Does she want block letters or script?"
Since the saleswoman didn't know, she went back around to the counter, and
asked, "do you want that in block letters or script?"
The customer replied, with a smile, "Braille."

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.