Tantrum Jokes

A few minutes after a crowded airliner takes off, a five-year-old boy begins to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother tries to do to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.
Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly priest slowly walks forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the priest leans down and whispers something into the young boy's ear.
Without hesitation, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.
As the priest begins to make his way back to his seat, one of the flight attendants touches his sleeve. "Pardon me, Father," she says quietly, "but may I ask what magic words you used on that little boy?"
Smiling serenely, the priest gently says, "I told him that if he didn't knock it off, I'd kick his butt to the more...

This guy Jed has been walking for hours after being stranded. He finally comes upon a house. Jed goes up to the front door and knocks and a lady answers.
Jed explains what happened and asks, "Could I have some food or something to drink."
The lady tells him, "No. You must go away."
Jed begs and begs; the lady keeps saying no.
He finally asks, "Do you want me to throw a redneck tantrum?"
She says, "I don't care what you do, but if you don't leave, I'm calling the police."
He goes over to he clothes line, rips all her clothes off the line, throws them on the ground, and stomps on them. Then he goes over to he cat and tears all of its hair out. After that he goes over to her donkey and kisses it.
Finally the lady calls the police and says, "He tore off my clothes, ripped the hair out of my pussy, and just kissed my ass!"
The officer on the phone line says, "Sorry ma'am but by the time we get the you're more...

On a crowded airliner a five-year-old boy is throwing a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.

Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly minister slowly walks forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the minister leans down and whispers something into the boy's ear. Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt.

All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause. As the minister slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the stewardess takes him by the sleeve. "Excuse me, Reverend," she says quietly, "but what magic words did you use on that little boy?"

The old man smiles serenely and gently says, "I told him if he didn't cut that crap out, I'd kick his butt to the moon."