Tap Jokes

A man said to his friends one night down the pub, "My elbow's really starting to hurt me. I'm going to see my doctor tomorrow." "Don't do that mate! There's this computer at the chemists that can diagnose anything faster than a doctor. Just put in a piss sample and it'll diagnose the problem and tell you the treatment. It only costs a fiver." So the next morning he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the chemists. He found the computer, poured in the sample, and deposited the 5. The computer started making some noises and lights started flashing on it. Then, after a brief pause and a pinging sound a slip of paper popped out on which was printed his diagnosis: "You've got tennis elbow, soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy lifting. It'll be better in two weeks." Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed more...

One day, a man complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, guess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs $10. 00." The guy figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. 00. The computer started making some noise andvarious lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks. That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled. He decided to more...

One day Fred decided he wanted to take up deer hunting. So Fred went to the local sporting goods stored and asked the shopkepper. "I need a really nice gun to hunt deer with"The shopkeeper gave him a gun and said, "This gun is perfect for any deer"Taking the gun, and jumping into his Jeep the new hunter went into the woods to search for deer. While looking around for his new sport, he saw nothing. Then, when he was just about ready to give up he saw a Bear in the distance. Not wanting to waste this journey he took aim and, BOOM!! When the smoke cleared to his surprise, no bear. Suddenly, Fred felt a tap on his shoulder. Turning, he saw the bear." What the hell do you think you are doing?" asked the bear." I'm sorry, I did mean to, I'll never do it again!" whined Fred." Pull down your pants, just so you understand how serious I am" explains the Bear. Reluctantly, Fred does this and WHAM, the bear screws him up the ass. All pissed off more...

Bob complained to his friends "My elbow really hurts. I guess I
should see a doctor."
His friend offered, "Don't do that!!! There's a computer at the
rugstore that can diagnose anything, quicker and cheaper than a
doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will
diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It
only costs $10. 00."
Bob figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a
urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer,
he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. 00. The computer
started making some noises and the various lights started
flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper
on which was printed:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water.
Avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology
as and how it would more...

One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend offered, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10."
Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.
Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be more...