Tap Jokes / Recent Jokes

Don was so excited to be going bear hunting. He spotted a small Brown Bear in the woods and shot it. Then there was a tap on his shoulder, he turned around to see a big Black Bear.

The Black Bear said, “Don, you’ve got two choices, either I maul you to death or we have sex. ” Don decided to bend over.

Even though he felt sore for two weeks Don soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip where he found the Black Bear and shot it. There was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge Grizzly Bear was standing right next to him.

The Grizzly said, “That was a huge mistake Don. You’ve got two choices. Either I maul you to death, or we have rough sex. ” Again, Don thought it was better to comply.

Although he survived, it took several months before Don finally recovered. Outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the Grizzly and shot it. He felt the sweet taste of revenge. But then there was a tap more...

Don was so excited to be going bear hunting. He spotted a small Brown Bear in the woods and shot it. Then there was a tap on his shoulder, he turned around to see a big Black Bear. The Black Bear said,' Don, you've got two choices, either I maul you to death or we have sex.' Don decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks Don soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip where he found the Black Bear and shot it. There was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge Grizzly Bear was standing right next to him. The Grizzly said,' That was a huge mistake Don. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death, or we have rough sex.' Again, Don thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it took several months before Don finally recovered. Outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the Grizzly and shot it. He felt the sweet taste of revenge. But then there was a tap on his shoulder. Don turned round to find a giant Polar more...

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs $10. 00." Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. 00. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read: 1. You have tennis elbow. 2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. 3. It will be better in two weeks....... That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled. more...

Bob complained to his friends "My elbow really hurts. I guess I
should see a doctor."
His friend offered, "Don't do that!!! There's a computer at the
rugstore that can diagnose anything, quicker and cheaper than a
doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will
diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It
only costs $10. 00."
Bob figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a
urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer,
he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. 00. The computer
started making some noises and the various lights started
flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper
on which was printed:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water.
Avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology
as and how it would more...

A man said to his friends one night down the pub, "My elbow's really starting to hurt me. I'm going to see my doctor tomorrow." "Don't do that mate! There's this computer at the chemists that can diagnose anything faster than a doctor. Just put in a piss sample and it'll diagnose the problem and tell you the treatment. It only costs a fiver." So the next morning he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the chemists. He found the computer, poured in the sample, and deposited the 5. The computer started making some noises and lights started flashing on it. Then, after a brief pause and a pinging sound a slip of paper popped out on which was printed his diagnosis: "You've got tennis elbow, soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy lifting. It'll be better in two weeks." Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed more...

Did you hear about the blonde tap dancer? She fell in the sink!

Cabbage, tap and tomato were having a race.
The cabbage was ahead, the tap was running after him, and the tomato tried to ketchup!