Taste Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
A. One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
Q. What is the difference between a female lawyer and a catfish?
A. One's slimy and has whiskers, and the other one lives in the water.
TRIVIA: The catfish has over 27, 000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds.
Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"
"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"
"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."
"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy."
"But why?"
"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, more...
Biology Class In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female (FRESHMAN) raised her hand and asked, "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar in male semen?" "That's correct", responded the professor, going on to add statistical info. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class... and never returned. However, as she was going out the door, the Professor's reply was classic... Totally straight-faced he answered her question, "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat."
This recipe has been around for many years in many fashions but in recent years for some reason has fallen out of favor. Here we shall return to a true classic dish of alternative fine dining. The list of ingredients is as follows:
1 reindeer, appx. 125-175 lbs., skinned, dressed (though not in a tux; ha, ha) and head mounted if you so desire.
6-9 Christmas elves cleaned and finely diced, appx. 8 lbs. useable weight.
8 lbs. celery, finely chopped.
8 lbs. onions, finely chopped.
8 lbs. carrots, finely diced.
1 gallon vodka to numb the elves before you peel them and dice them.
32 lbs. dry bread crumbs.
3 gallons chicken stock.
salt, pepper, to taste.
Fresh garlic, 1-6 lbs. as you desire.
3-4 gallons of olive oil for basting the roasting reindeer.
Saute' the onions, carrots, and celery ina large pan, using some olive oil, until tender.
Brown the diced elves in the same pan until lightly browned. Mix the vegetables, elves, bread crumbs, more...
A whale's penis is called a dork.
Because of the rotation of the earth, an object can be thrown farther if it is thrown west.
The average person spends 6 months of their life sitting at red lights.
In 1912 a law passed in Nebraska where drivers in the country at night were required to stop every 150 yards, send up a skyrocket, wait eight minutes for the road to clear before proceeding cautiously, all the while blowing their horn and shooting off flares.
More Monopoly money is printed in a year, than real money throughout the world.
Caesar salad has nothing to do with any of the Caesars. It was first concocted in a bar in Tijuana, Mexico, in the 1920's.
One quarter of the bones in your body are in your feet.
Crocodiles and alligators are surprisingly fast on land. Although they are rapid, they are not agile. So, if being chased by one, run in a zigzag line to lose him or her.
Seattle’s Fremont more...
Each of us generates about 3.5 pounds of rubbish a day, most of it paper.
Women manage the money and pay the bills in 75% of all Americans households.
A rainbow can be seen only in the morning or late afternoon. It can occur only when the sun is 40 degrees or less above the horizon.
It has NEVER rained in Calama, a town in the Atacama Desert of Chile.
It costs more to buy a new car today in the United States than it cost Christopher Columbus to equip and undertake three voyages to and from the New World.
The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
An eighteenth-century German named Matthew Birchinger, known as "the little man of Nuremberg," played four musical instruments including the bagpipes, was an expert calligrapher, and was the most famous stage magician of his day. He performed tricks with the cup and balls that have never been explained. Yet Birchinger had no hands, legs, or thighs, more...
SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, beer is unusually pale and clear.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Find someone who will buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, and the front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open when drinking or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Buy another beer and practice in front of mirror. Drink as many as needed to perfect drinking technique.
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Turn glass other way up so that open end points toward ceiling.
SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Go stand next to nearest dog. After a while complain to the owner about its lack of house training and demand a beer as compensation.
SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Find someone who will buy you another more...
A farmer goes to the patent office to patent a peach, and the patent officer says- "you can't patent a peach, the peach has already been patented!"And the farmer says, "Oh no. Not THIS kind of peach. Go ahead, try it!" So the patent officer takes a bite, and then- "oh, wow! This is so good! It tastes like- blackberry pie!"And the farmer says "Yeah, and Do you like vanilla ice cream? Well then you gotta flip it over & try the other side".So the patent officer does and he's like-"Man! that really does taste like vanilla ice cream! I can't believe it!"So then the farmer looks around a bit and lowers his voice almost to a whisper, and says: "Psst! Have you ever tasted pussy?" "Oh yeah, I've eaten plenty of pussy!" "And you like it, right?" "Yeah I LOVE the taste of pussy" says the patent officer, starting to get excited.The farmer says, "OK, then take a bite, right there" So the patent more...