Taste Jokes / Recent Jokes
Find two straws, preferably with wide tubes. Insert into your nostrils. Inhale your food.
Don't go to the dining hall. Live there and never leave. When people come in, harass for news of the outside world and tell them how the dining hall needs new ketchup.
Before eating, say grace. Punctuate by slamming your face into your food.
After obtaining your food, proceed to throw it out the nearest window. Turn to the person nearest to you and say, "Wow! Did you ever see [name of dish] fly like that before?"
Hide behind the milk dispenser. Moo every time someone gets milk.
Go up to the server and ask to see the chef. After he/she is introduced, request an off-the-menu meal consisting of lightly blackened escargot, a simmering seafood bisque, a delicately roasted rack of lamb in a basil cream sauce, and a tart but not sweet dessert of his/her own concoction. When he or she refuses, punch' em and proceed to make this meal yourself.
After finishing your more...
A new doctor had arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody. Everyone was amazed with what he could do - everyone except for Mr. Thompson, the town skeptic.Grumpy old Mr. Thompson went to visit this' miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. When it was time for his appointment he told the doctor, "Hey, doc, I've lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin' to do?"The doctor scratched his head and mumbled to himself a little, then told Mr. Thompson, "What you need is jar number 47."So the doctor brought the jar out, opened it, and told Mr. Thompson to taste it. He tasted it and immediately spit it out, "This is gross!" he yelled. "Looks like I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Thompson," said the doctor. So Mr. Thompson went home.... very mad.One month later, Mr. Thompson decides to go back to the doctor and try once again to expose him as a fake, by complaining of a new problem. more...
Clinton doesn't inhale, he sucks USE CAUTION! 90% of people are made by accident. It's a dog eat dog world... and I'm wearing milkbone underwear!!! I break for hallucinations My Lawyer Can Beat Your Lawyer Blondes Are Not Dumb (the bumper sticker was upside-down) DADDY FARTED AND WE CAN'T GET OUT!!! IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY DRIVING, STAY OFF THE SIDEWALK!!! Nuck Fewt ORGASM DONOR My child made Student of the Month at Juvenile Hall No radio. Already stolen. Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister. So many pedestrians, so little time. My other wife is beautiful. I need someone really bad. Are you really bad? Don't laugh. Your daughter could be in this vehicle. There is one in every crowd and they always find me. I love animals - They taste great! I'd rather step in shit than smoke it. Unless you are a hemorrhoid - get off my ass! On the back of a caterer's truck: "Nobody beats our meat!"
In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked, "If I understand, you're saying there is as much glucose in a man's semen as there is in sugar? "That's correct", responded the professor, going on to add statistical info. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class and never returned. However, as she was going through door, the professor's reply was classic. Totally straight-faced he answered her question, "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of the tongue and not in the back of the throat."
Children of Distinction: The promising 7 yr. old was given the difficult assignment in class of describing the taste of chocolate ice cream in a single sentence.
"Chocolate," she explained, "tastes the opposite of vanilla."
Drinking around the Christmas tree at the Christmas party rush,
Faces are hung o'er the balcony, everybody is a lush.
Drinking around the Christmas tree, let the Christmas drunkards
through,
Later we'll do some vomiting, and our arms will hug the loo.
You will get an upset stomach feeling when you taste
Vodka through your nose, oh golly,
Deck the halls with boughs of holly.
Drinking around the Christmas tree, your hangover's on its way,
Everybody's wearing ice pack hats in the new old-fashioned way.
(drunken sax solo.)
You will get an upset stomach feeling when you taste
Vodka through your nose, oh golly,
Deck the halls with boughs of holly.
Drinking around the Christmas tree, your hangover's on its way,
Everybody's wearing ice pack hats in the new old-fashioned way.
The taste of low quality lingers long after the satisfaction of low price.