Teach Jokes / Recent Jokes
Note: This is an extract of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
INTERVIEWER: " So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."
INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! that's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range."
INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how,. ... we will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm."
INTERVIEWER: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers."
GENERAL more...
An Army Sergeant and a Marine Sergeant were training together at Little Creek Naval Amphibious Base. The Army Sergeant suddenly gets the urge and makes a run for the latrine. THe Marine Sergeant then feels he had a little to much to drink also and follows the Army Sergeant into the latrine. The Army Sergeant quickly finishes up and walks straight outside. The Marine Sergeant sees this and gets pissed off. He quickly washes his hands and races out to find the Army Sergeant. “Hey, ” he says, ”in the Marines, the teach us to wash our hands after we go to the head. ”
The Army Sergeant looks at him and replies, ”In the army, they teach us not to piss on our hands. ”
My
Ass
Rides
In
Naval
Equipment
Muscles
Are
Required
Intelligence
Never
Existed
Never
Again
Volunteer
Yourself
Aint
Ready for
Marines
Yet
What system do they teach in Hamburger High's math courses? The meatric system, silly!
A new lady teacher, came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to introduce themselves with -name, and hobby.
She said " Let's start with the boys first. Boys start giving their intro. First boy: " My name is john, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bath tub. " Teacher was confused to listen and said "intresting - well, ok. In fact we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So its ok john. Yes next-"
Second boy: " My name is Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bath tub" Teacher now got surprised and said " gooodd.. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. ok next - " Third boy: I'm smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the bath tub " Teacher: " guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next - " This continues, and the last boy stands up: I m Herry, and my hobby is to see bubble more...
John Kallam graduated with a BA in criminology and entered the U.S.
Army. He served for 20 years beginning in the late 1930's. He was
an investigator during the Nuremberg trials of Nazi war criminals,
and stayed in Germany for many years organizing civilian police forces
in the post-war era. He also wrote numerous books on criminal
justice. He retired from military service in the late 1950's at the
rank of full colonel.
Returning to Fresno, California, he began teaching criminology at what
was then Fresno State College. (Later to become the California State
University, Fresno.) His work was well respected, but after about ten
years of service, he was called to see the president of the college.
He was informed that he could no longer teach with just a bachelor's
degree. Times were changing, he was told, and the school demanded
that faculty members hold a graduate degree. Merely having 20 years
of distinguished experience was no more...
A sailor and a marine are taking a piss at a public restroom. The
marine finishes first and
washes his hands. The sailor just walks to the exit. So the marine
says to him: hey, in the
marines they teach us to wash our hands after taking a piss. The
sailor says: yeah well, in
the navy they teach us to not piss on our hands.
Two teenagers were walking through a park when they saw two rabbits getting it on, fast and furious.
"What are they doing?" asked the girl.
"They're jumping rope," said the boy. "Maybe I'll teach you how someday."
"I think I want you to teach me now," said the girl. So the two went behind some bushes and started getting it on. When the boy had his pants down, the girl asked what that was behind his "rope."
"That," said the boy, "that's my knot."
"Well," said the girl, "untie the knot and give me some more rope."