Teach Jokes / Recent Jokes
If to give a man a fish, he eats for a day, but if you teach a man to fish...
He has to buy a license, poles, bait, and sit on his behind for four hours.
A Marine and Airman are doing their business in urinals next to each other in an airport bathroom. They engage in some small talk, mostly some pot shots at the others branch of service.
They both finish around the same time. The Airman goes to the sink and starts to wash his hands while the Marine just heads for the door.
The Ariman looks at him disgusted and says, "At least in Air Force boot camp they teach us to wash our hands after taking a piss." The Marine looks at him and says, "In Marine Corps boot camp they teach us not to piss on ours".
An Army guy and a Navy guy found themselves in a public restroom.
As the Army guy was walking out, the Navy guy said, while
washing his hands,
"In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands before leaving the
restroom." Then the Army guy replied,
"Well, in the Army, they teach us not to pee on our hands!"
This is a portion of a radio interview between a Female Broadcaster and a Military Man, who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, Sir, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
MILITARY MAN: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
MILITARY MAN: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
MILITARY MAN: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
MILITARY MAN: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
THE RADIO WENT SILENT.
INTERVIEW ENDED.
A carload of hunters, looking for a place to hunt, pulled into a farmer's yard. The driver went up to the farmhouse to ask permission to hunt on his land.
The old farmer said, "Sure you can hunt, but would you do me a favor? That old mule over there is 20 years old and sick with cancer, but I don't have the heart to kill her. Would you do it for me?
The hunter said, "Sure" and headed for the car.
Walking back, however, he decided to pull a trick on his hunting buddies. He got into the car and when they asked if the farmer said it was OK, he said, "No, we can't hunt here, but I'm going to teach that old cuss a lesson."
With that, he rolled down his window, stuck his gun out and blasted the mule. As he exclaimed, "There, that will teach him!"
A second shot rang out from the passenger side and one of his hunting buddies shouted, "I got the cow!!!"
The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy." The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing...""I know how to fuck, mother," the bride-to-be interrupted. "I want you to teach me how to make a great lasagna!"
A marine and a sailor are in the bathroom. When they finish, the sailor says,"In the navy, they teach us to wash our hands," and the marine says," In the marines, they teach us not to piss on our hands."