Teaches Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.

So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. After about a year and a half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house.

Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler.

'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.

Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.
So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. After about a year and a half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house.
Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler.
'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.

Li'l Naturalist Hornet Farm. The Duncan Yo -- Goes down, never comes back.
Teaches children about warranties. 5, 200 Pick Up -- a jumbo deck of cards that lets kids
play a larger version of their favorite game. The "Learn About Puberty Chia Pet". Supersoaker 9000: For use on those hard to reach targets;
NFL referees, low flying planes, and many more. At close
range it can strip paint, clean rusty grills, and dig
utility trenches. The Laff-O-Minit Spellin' Tootor. Doggie Dentist -- Kids learn about dentistry on
the family pooch. Cuisin-Art -- Turns mommy's food processor into
a spinning paint tool. Water Retention Wanda -- Teaches kids the principles
of the calendar. Chocolate Covered Lead Soldiers. Islamic Strip Poker -- lose a hand, lose a hand.

I bought an album that teaches you Spanish while you sleep. During the night the record skipped, so now I can only stutter in Spanish.

Li'l Naturalist Hornet Farm.The Duncan Yo -- Goes down, never comes back. Teaches children about warranties.5,200 Pick Up -- a jumbo deck of cards that lets kids play a larger version of their favorite game.The "Learn About Puberty Chia Pet".Supersoaker 9000: For use on those hard to reach targets; NFL referees, low flying planes, and many more. At close range it can strip paint, clean rusty grills, and dig utility trenches.The Laff-O-Minit Spellin' Tootor.Doggie Dentist -- Kids learn about dentistry on the family pooch.Cuisin-Art -- Turns mommy's food processor into a spinning paint tool.Water Retention Wanda -- Teaches kids the principles of the calendar.Chocolate Covered Lead Soldiers.Islamic Strip Poker -- lose a hand, lose a hand.

Make me a Cohen, please
Manny approached the Rabbi of his Reform Synagogue and said "Rabbi, please make me a Cohen."
The Rabbi, taken aback, tells Manny that it is impossible.
Manny offers the Rabbi £10,000, but the Rabbi won’t budge. He offers £50,000…then £75,000. Finally, the Rabbi, reluctantly, gives in. He teaches Manny Torah. He teaches him Talmud. After 6 months of classes, the Rabbi tells Manny, "OK, now you can be a Cohen."
The next Shabbat, Manny is called up for the first aliya in the Torah reading. He goes up, with a big smile on his face, says the brachot and afterwards returns to his seat.
But the Rabbi is still troubled and a little curious. He approaches Manny the next day and asks him why it was so important to him to be a Cohen.
Manny answers, "Rabbi, my father was a Cohen; my grandfather was a Cohen. I wanted to be a Cohen too!"

Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog. So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. After about a year and a half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house. Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler.' My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.