Teetotaler Jokes / Recent Jokes

Several members of a temperance league approached a ninety-year-old teetotaler for a testimonial declaring that his longevity was due to a life of abstention from alcohol.

The old gentleman said he would be pleased to sign such a statement and was in the process of making his mark when sounds of a riotous party came from an adjacent room. "My God, what's that?" gasped one of the visitors.
"Oh, that's just my dad," the teetotaler laughed. "He's probably getting drunk again."

A policeman stops a car and suggests an apparently drunken fellow to take a breath test. He blows, the thing shows: positive. He protests, cries he is a teetotaler and that the instrument isn't working properly. He says his wife is also a teetotaler. She blows- again positive. Then he gives it to their little kid on the backseat- also positive! The ashamed policeman lets them go. They take off and the man says to his wife: - And you kept telling me: don't give the kid any alcohol, don't give the kid any alcohol!!

A policeman stops a car and suggests an apparently drunken fellow to take a breath test. He blows, the thing shows: positive. He protests, cries he is a teetotaler and that the instrument isnt working properly. He says his wife is also a teetotaler. She blows- again positive. Then he gives it to their little kid on the backseat- also positive! The ashamed policeman lets them go. They take off and the man says to his wife:- And you kept telling me: dont give the kid any alcohol, dont give the kid any alcohol!!