Telemarketer Jokes / Recent Jokes

What to say to a telemarketer! One of the things that has always bugged me (and I'm sure it has most of you, too) is to sit down to dinner only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating to them as they were to me. The call was from AT&T, and it went something like this: Me: HelloAT&T: Hello, this is AT&T... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T... Me: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes. This is AT&T... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: YES! This is AT&T. May I speak to Mr. Salem please? Me: May I ask who is calling? AT&T: This is AT&T. Me: OK, hold on. At this point, I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, she was still waiting. Me: Hello? AT&T: Is this Mr. Salem? Me: May I ask who is calling please? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T... Me: This is AT&T? AT&T: more...

What to say to a telemarketer! One of the things that has always bugged me (and I`m sure it has most of you, too) is to sit down to dinner only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating to them as they were to me. The call was from AT & T, and it went something like this:

Me: Hello
AT & T: Hello, this is AT & T....
Me: Is this AT & T?
AT & T: Yes, this is AT & T....
Me: This is AT & T?
AT & T: Yes. This is AT & T....
Me: Is this AT & T?
AT & T: YES! This is AT & T. May I speak to Mr. Salem please?
Me: May I ask who is calling?
AT & T: This is AT & T.
Me: OK, hold on.
At this point, I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, she was still waiting.
Me: more...

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems
to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died. . . " When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.
3. If the person says he's Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.
4. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with more...

The phone rang as I was setting down to my anticipated
evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with " is
this William Wagenhoss" not sounding anything like my name, so I said who is calling?
The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber band Powered Freezer company or something like that and then I asked him if he knew William personally and why was he calling this number. I then said off to the side, "get really good pictures of the body and all the blood" then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be
receiving a summons to appear in the local courthouse to
testify in this murder case.
I then questioned the caller at great length as to his
name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this more...

When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm

so glad you asked because no one these days seems to

care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is

acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."



If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask

them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the

company name. Then ask them where it is located.

Continue asking them personal questions or questions

about their company for as long as necessary.



Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God!

Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy

a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out

where the hell she could know you from.



If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family

and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as more...