Tennis Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two women who met in the park were busily chatting about their
sons. My sons a doctor exclaimed the first women. He has a
beautiful big house, a Rolls and a BMW, a heated swimming pool
and a tennis court. After bragging about her son she asks the
second woman' What does your son do?'
Well actually my sons a homosexual, said the second woman.
OH I am sorry said the first women.
No need to be sorry said the second woman, he's done very well
for himself. He lives with a rich doctor who has a big house, a
rolls and a BMW, a lovely heated swimming pool and a tennis court.

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." The husband says "WHAT??" The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it. So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept. store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. And then tells his wife. We'll take all three of them. Then goes over and gets matching shoes worth $200 each. And then goes to the Jewelry Dept. and gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited (she thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care). She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says "but you don't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then lets get it." The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is more...

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says, "I don' t feel like it. I just want you to hold me." The husband says " WHAT???" The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it. So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept. store. He walks around and had her try on three very expensive outfits. And then tells his wife, We 'll take all three of them. Then goes over and gets matching shoes worth $200 each. And then goes to the jewelry Dept. and gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited (she thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care). She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says "but you don 't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then lets get it.' The wife is jumping up and down. So excited she cannot even believe what more...

Tennis star Andy Roddick married longtime girlfriend and SI swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker over the weekend.. Andy said he had been smitten with Brooklyn ever since she was in high-school... Wow, that's what I call "15-Love"...

One day, John's tennis elbow was acting up and he decided to stop in and see a doctor. When he got to the doctor's office the nurse told him he could see the doctor in 15 minutes but, first he'd have to give a urine sample. John said that this was absurd but, the nurse insisted and John complied. 15 minutes later, John was ushered in to see the doctor." So that tennis elbow is really acting up, huh?" the doctor said." The nurse must have told you," said John, wondering how the Doctor knew." No. It was in your urinalysis." and the doctor continued to say that he had just purchased this new machine that could diagnose every physical condition with total accuracy based on the urine contents. John didn't believe a word of this but he did agree to provide another urine sample on check-up visit. Two days later, John was sitting at the kitchen table with his wife and his teenage daughter. He was telling them about this ridiculous machine. When John decided to more...

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
The husband says, "WHAT??"
The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman.
The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.
So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. And then they go to the Jewelry Department where she gets a set of diamond ear rings.
The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out - but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says "but you don't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then let's get it."
The wife is more...

A psychology student at a local university was sent on a fieldassignment to evaluate three patients in a local mental hospital. The first patient was locked in his room throwing tennis ballseverywhere. The student asked why, and the patient answered"When I get out of here I going to ba a tennis pro." The second patient was locked in his room throwing baseballseverywhere. When asked why he said "When I get out of here Igoing to be a professional baseball player." The student thought he was starting to get the hang of things, until he looked in on the third patient. There locked in themiddle of the room was a naked man, masturbating with a peanuton the end of his penis. The student asked, "I understand aboutthe others, but what are you going to be when you get out of here?" "They're never going to let me out of here," the patientsaid "I'm f**king nuts!"