Tent Jokes / Recent Jokes

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com, did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)." Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without more...

Joe woke up one morning with an enormous boner and looked for his wife, but she had awakened and was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Joe was afraid he might spoil things by getting up, so he called his little boy and sent this note to his wife: THE TENT POLE IS UP, THE CANVAS IS SPREAD. THE HELL WITH BREAKFAST, COME BACK TO BED. The wife answered the note and sent it back by the boy. It read: TAKE THE TENT POLE DOWN, PUT THE CANVAS AWAY. THE MONKEY HAD A HEMORRHAGE, NO CIRCUS TODAY. So he sent another note down. It read: THE TENT POLE'S STILL UP, AND THE CANVAS STILL SPREAD. SO DROP WHAT YOU'RE DOING, ND COME GIVE ME SOME HEAD. To which she replied: I'M SURE THAT YOUR POLE'STHE BEST IN THE LAND. BUT I'M BUSY RIGHT NOW, SO DO IT BY HAND!!

Civil War Era Humor The following are supposedly true definitions, stories, and terms relating to the Civil War. BIGGEST MAN... The biggest man in the Union Army was Capt. David Van Buskirk of the 27th Indiana Regiment who stood 6 feet 11 inches and weighed 380 pounds. He was captured in 1862 and was sent to a Richmond Prison where a Confederate entrepreneur put him on exhibit. Even Confederate President Jeff Davis came to see him and was astounded when the impish Van Buskirk claimed that back home in Bloomington Indiana, "when I was at the train station with my company, my six sisters came to say goodbye. As I was standing there, with my company, they all came up to me, leaned down and kissed me on top of the head." LETTER HOME... A young soldier left home to join the army. He told his girl friend that he would write every day. After about six months, he received a letter from his girlfriend that she was marrying someone else. He wrote home to his family to find out who she more...

A lion is drinking from a puddle and his tail is up. A gorilla walks
up to him, seizes the opportunity, and "slips" the lion from behind.
The gorilla takes off, and the lion takes off after him.
The gorilla runs into a hunter's camp, jumps into a tent, puts on a
safari outfit, a pith helmet, grabs a copy of The Johannesburg Times,
sits down, and starts to read.
The lion runs into the camp, sticks his head into the tent, and roars,
"Arrgg! Did a gorilla come through here?"
The gorilla says, "You mean the one that fucked the lion in the ass?"
The lion says, "My God! You mean it's in the paper already?"

Ed, Ted and their wives went out camping one weekend. Ed and Ted slept in one tent while the wives used the other.At about three in the morning, Ted woke up and yelled, "Wow, unbelievable!"Which woke Ed."What's going on?" said Ed."I've got to go to the other tent and find my wife." said Ted."How come?" said Ed."To have sex! I just woke up with the biggest hard-on I've ever had in mylife!" said TedAfter a pause, Ed said, "Do you want me to come with you?""Hell, no! Why would I want you to do that?" said Ted."Because that's my dick you're holding," said Ed.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replies, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson ponders a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."

There was a gorilla sitting in a tree by a river, when a lioncame by for a cool drink. The gorilla thought to himself, "Howfunny would it be to screw the king of the jungle in the ass?" After a moment or two, the gorilla swung into action. He grabbedthe lion and started pumping away. The lion freaked of course, and jumped into the river. The lion came out of the water, roaring, he was really upset. The gorilla decided that it was a good timeto be somewhere else, and took off running. The gorilla knew he hadto think of something quick because he wasn't going to outrun the lion. Just then the gorilla saw a hunter's tent and ducked inside to hide. The hunter, reading the paper, was startled and ran out of the tent. The gorilla decided to pretend to be the hunter, he put on the hunter'sshirt and hat, and started to read the paper. A few minutes later, the lion ran in and thinking it was the hunterreading the paper, said, "Hey Buddy, did you see a gorilla run in here?" more...