Testicles Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man is lying in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask over his face. A young nurse's aide appears to sponge his face and hands.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young aide replies, "I don't know. I'm only here to wash your hands and face."
Again, he struggles to ask, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Once more, the aide replies, "I don't know. I'm only here to wash your hands and face."
The Head Nurse was passing and noticed the man was becoming a little distraught, so she approached his bed to find out what was wrong.
Seeing her, the man mumbled again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Being a nurse of longstanding, she was undaunted. She quickly pulled back the bedclothes, pulled down his pajama bottom, moved his penis out of the way, had a good look, pulled up his pajamas, pulled the bedclothes back up and announced, "There's nothing wrong more...
A man is lying in bed in a hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young auxiliary nurse appears to sponge his face and hands.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your face and hands."
He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your face and hands."
The ward sister was passing and saw the man getting a little distraught so marched over to inquire what was wrong.
"Sister," he mumbled, "Are my testicles black?"
Being a nurse of longstanding, the sister was undaunted. She whipped back the bedclothes, pulled down his pajama trousers, moved his penis out of
the way, had a right good look, pulled up the pajamas, replaced the bedclothes and announced, "Nothing wrong with them!!!"
At this more...
A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring. "Yeah, right," she says.
A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring. The woman is amazed!
Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins snoring loudly. The woman thinks maybe the ribbon will work on him.
So she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of ribbon, and carefully ties it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him!
The woman sleeps soundly.
The next morning, the husband wakes up hung over. He more...
A man traveled to Madrid, Spain and went to a restaurant for a late dinner. He ordered the house special and was brought a plate with potatoes, corn, and two large meaty objects. "What's this?" he asked.
"Cojones, se
A man traveled to Madrid, Spain and went to a restaurant for a late dinner. He ordered the house special and was brought a plate with potatoes, corn, and two large meaty objects. "What's this?" he asked.
"Cojones, se
The Marine Corps found they had too many officers and senior enlisted
men. It was decided to offer an early retirement bonus.
They promised any officer or senior enlisted man who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body.
Those applying got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top
of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked
out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Sergeant
Major who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From
the tip of my weenie to my testicles." It was suggested by the more...
The madam of a bawdy house answered the ring of the bell and, on opening the door, she found standing there on the threshold, an ancient, bearded gentleman in rabbi's garb.
"May I come in?" asked the rabbi gently in an aged, quavering voice. Feeling a little confused, the madam said, "But rabbi, surely you must be in the wrong place. Here is where we..."
"I know what you do here," interrupted the rabbi. "You don't think I came here for chopped liver, do you? Bring on the girls."
Still confused, but understanding her professional duties, the madam had several girls line up. The rabbi tottered from one to another until he reached Rose, a large redhead with enormous breasts. He looked at her with appreciation and pointed, "Good! I'll take those."
The rabbi paid out the necessary sum and Rosie led him upstairs. She helped him off with his coat and hung it up carefully on the nail on the door.
Then she helped him off more...