Tex Jokes

A police officer saw a man dressed as a cowboy in the street, complete with huge stetson hat, spurs, and six shooters. "Excuse me, sir," said the police officer, "who are you?" "My name's Tex, officer," said the cowboy. " eh?" said the police officer, "Are you from Texas?" "Nope, Louisiana." "Louisiana? So why are you called Tex?" "Don't want to be called Louise, do I.

The cowhand got paid on Friday and immediately rode into town and proceeded to get thoroughly shit faced. A couple of pals decided to play a trick on him. They snuck out, turned his horse around, and went back to join the hapless for a few more rounds.

The next morning, when the alarm clock and a glass of cold water in the face failed to have the slightest effect, the cowhand's wife started shaking him by the shoulders and screaming, "Tex, get up! You have to hit the goddamn trail, you've got work to do."

"Can't," mumbled Tex. "Too beat. Too tired. Can't even lift my head."

"Get the hell up!" she screamed in his ear. "I've seen you this hungover a thousand times."

"Last night was different," said the wretched fellow. "Some son of a bitch cut my horse's head off, and I had to pull him all the way home with my finger in his windpipe!"

Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck Tex," said the first. "He`s going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back."

"Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He`ll always be just a good ol` boy. When he walks in, I`m sure all he`ll say is hello."

"I know Tex better than either of you," said the third. "He`s so smart, he`ll figure out a way to do both. Here he comes now." Tex swung open the bunkhouse door and shouted, "Audi, partners!"

Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck Tex," said the first. "Hes going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back." "Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "Hell always be just a good ol boy. When he walks in, Im sure all hell say is hello." "I know Tex better than either of you," said the third. "Hes so smart, hell figure out a way to do both. Here he comes now." Tex swung open the bunkhouse door and shouted, "Audi, partners!"

The cowhand got paid on Friday and immediately rode into town and proceeded to get thoroughly shitfaced.

A couple of pals decided to play a trick on him. They snuck out, turned his horse around, and went back to join the hapless for a few more rounds.

The next morning, when the alarm clock and a glass of cold water in the face failed to have the slightest effect, the cowhand's wife started shaking him by the shoulders and screaming, "Tex, get up! You have to hit the goddamn trail, you've got work to do."

"Can't," mumbled Tex. "Too beat. Too tired. Can't even lift my head."

"Get the hell up!" she screamed in his ear. "I've seen you this hungover a thousand times."

"Last night was different," said the wretched fellow. "Some son of a bitch cut my horse's head off, and I had to pull him all the way home with my finger in his windpipe!"